20 Things a Mother Should Tell her Son

As a mother of a son, I am always on the lookout online for useful parenting tips – you know those ones that impart some real nuggets of information on how to mother sons and set them up, ready for the world! It’s not as if we know how their minds work – after all aren’t men from Mars ?! I came across two lists – the original, and the original with additions. We liked both so here’s 20 Things a Mother Should Tell Her Son.

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#1. You will set the tone for the sexual relationship, so don’t take something away from her that you can’t give back.

You will both set the tone for your sexual relationship. You can’t take something away from someone that wasn’t yours to begin with.

#2. Play a sport. It will teach you how to win honourably, lose gracefully, respect authority, work with others, manage your time, and stay out of trouble. You might even learn to throw and catch!

Don’t feel pressured to play a sport. You are no less of a man if you choose to hike, build Lego castles, dance, or play the violin. There will be plenty of other life experiences that teach you to build meaningful relationships in healthy and non-competitive ways.

3 boys with basketball

#3. Have a good aim when you pee – someone has to clean that up you know!

Aim wherever you want when you pee, but just know that you’re the one that will have to clean it up.

#4. Save money when you’re young – you’re going to need it some day.

 Don’t let money be the guiding force for your decisions and actions, but plan wisely if you want to travel, learn, share it with others, and have more freedom to savor a diversity of experiences in your lifetime. 

#5. Allow me to introduce you to the oven, washing machine, dishwasher, iron, vacuum, mop and broom. Now off you go and use them!

Allow me to introduce you to the concepts of self-sufficiency, accountability, and responsibility. 

#6. Pray and be a spiritual leader.

Seek that which grounds you, and gives your life meaning and purpose; once you find it, live your life accordingly and do everything in your power to stay connected to it.

#7. Don’t ever be a bully, and don’t ever start a fight, but if some idiot “clocks” you, please defend yourself.

Respect others and remember that violence is never the solution.  Respect your body and do not permit others to violate that.

#8. Your knowledge and education is something that nobody can take away from you.

Your ideas and perspectives will evolve. Your quest for learning and growth will continually enrich your life.

#9. Treat women kindly. Forever is a long time to live alone, and an even longer time to live with somebody who hates your guts!

Treat everyone kindly. If you choose to have a life partner, offer them the same level of respect that you would expect for yourself.

#10. Take pride in your appearance.

Love yourself and the world will see you glow.


#11. Be strong and tender at the same time.

It’s OK to be weak, to be vulnerable, and to cry. No one can be strong all the time.

#12. A woman can do everything you can. This includes you changing nappies at 3am and her having a succesful career. Mutual respect is the key to a good relationship.

A woman can’t do everything you can do (like aim when she pees), but she is just as capable and as valuable of a contributor to the world, as you are. Separate bathrooms are the key to a good relationship

#13. “Yes Ma’am” and “yes Sir” still go a long way. As do “please” and “thank you”.

“I understand”, “I’m sorry”, and “Can I help?” go a long way. As do “please” and thank you”

#14. The reason they are called “private parts” is because they’re “private”. Please don’t scratch them in public.

Don’t be afraid to call your penis a penis.  Because that’s what it is. Scratch discreetly when you itch. Wash your hands afterwards

#15. Peer pressure is a scary thing. Be a good leader and others will follow.

March to the sound of your own drum – you are worth it. If you happen to inspire others along the way….awesome.

Mum and child

#16. Bringing her flowers for no reason is always a good thing.

Finding opportunities to practice random acts of kindness is always a good idea. Some women (and men) are allergic to flowers.

Recommended Reading: 20 Things To Tell Your Daughter

#17. Be patriotic.

Be humble – the world is a big place and you are but a small piece of a much larger puzzle.

#18. Potty humour isn’t the only type of humour!

Humour at the expense of others is never funny.

#19. Please choose your spouse wisely. My daughter in law will be the gate-keeper for me spending time with you and my grandchildren.

Whether or not you choose to marry or have children, I will always love you and stay connected to your life.

#20. Don’t forget to call me – I might be missing you.

If you remember all of the above, you will want to hear your mother’s voice every once in a while. Not because she might miss you, but because you might actually miss her.

Credit : With thanks to Amanda at werdyab blog for original article, and to plainjaneactivisim for additions.

Over to you! Have you any pieces of advice to add to the list ? Share them in the comment box below.

20 Things A Mother Should Tell Her Son

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  2. Donna says:

    What I just read sounded like the original lines were written by a mother with conservative view points and the additional lines were written by a mother with liberal points of view. By calling the second line an additional line, it seems to imply that this is the modern updated view accepted today and I strongly disagree. I personally prefer the original lines. The title should read, “20 Things a Mother Should Tell her Son from two Moms with totally different view points”. Because that is exactly what this list is, two totally different views of advice and in some instances- two totally opposite pieces of advice.

  3. Stacey says:

    I totally disagree with the additional line in the first point (You can’t take something away from someone that wasn’t yours to begin with.) since the first point is all about sexual relationships. A man can most definitely ‘take’ something from a woman in a sexual context that wasn’t his to begin with. Even when in a long term relationship.

  4. Bree says:

    I agree with the post left above by Donna. This article sounds like it was written by two different mothers with two completely different views (conservative- line 1 and liberal- line 2). I, myself also tend to view the first set of advise as things that you “should” teach your sons rather than something that you “should not”. I ‘m not sure where you’re from Donna, but these were the values that most were raised on in the south; and I still feel like these are good, strong values that all young men should be taught. Being a mother of 2 young boys, I found myself reading this article thinking that it was titled wrong. These are strong values that all young men should be taught by not only their mothers, but also their fathers. In our home, we are strong believers that children learn more from what they see than what they are told. Sure we tell our boys these things, (as appropriate with age) but we also believe that it’s important for them to grow up seeing the most important man in their lives doing these things and setting a good example. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that all of what was in line 1 is the exact thing that I would say or do with my boys. In fact while reading through the article, I found myself finding some valid points in both views. In fact, I think that the article is misrepresented all together. I felt that there were valid points that I would tell my children in both lines and not just be one sided one way or the other. If someone would have taken the time to put both points of views together and integrated the positives in both, then I feel as if this would have been excellent advice for new parents out there raising the future of our nation. There are too my people out there these days who are completely one sided. Everything in this world is not completely black or white. That are many shades of gray and color in between the lines of this beautiful world that we live in. And as our world is continuously changing, the advice, and the way that we raise our children should also do the same. As long as we continue to lay a strong foundation of values, morals, respect, and love within all of our children, I believe that we have done all that we can do as parents; and that our children will grow up to be strong, loving, independent, individuals.

  5. I think this is good advice for boys to hear as long as they are taught with love along with respect and good manners