The Scary Mommy Manifesto

scary mommy manifesto

We know that there’s no such thing as the perfect mom so when we came across this Scary Mommy Manifesto from we just had to share it with you!

The Scary Mommy Manifesto

I shall maintain a sense of humour
about all things motherhood,
for without it, I recognise
that I may end up institutionalised.
Or, at the very least completely miserable.

I shall not preach the benefits
of breastfeeding
or circumcision
or home schooling
or organic food
or co-sleeping
or crying it out
to a fellow mother
who has not asked my opinion.
It’s none of my damned business.

I shall not compete with the
mother who effortlessly
bakes from scratch, purees her
own baby food, or fashions
breathtaking costumes from
tissue paper.  Motherhood is not
a competition. The only ones
who lose are the ones
who race the fastest.

I shall not judge the mother
in the grocery store who,
upon entering, hits the
candy aisle and doles out
M&Ms to her screaming toddler.

I shall shoot the parents
of the screaming newborn
on the airplane looks of
compassion rather than
resentment. I am fortunate
to be able to ditch the kid
upon landing.
They however, are not.

I shall attempt to not
pass down my own messed up
body issues to my daughter.
She deserves a mother who
loves and respects herself;
stretch marks, cellulite and all.

I shall never ask any woman
whether she is, in fact, expecting.

I shall not question the mother
who is wearing the same yoga
pants, flip-flops and t-shirt she
wore to school pickup
the day before.
She has good reason.

I shall never claim to know
everything about any
child but my own.
(who still remain a mystery to me.)

I shall hold the new babies
belonging to friends and family,
so they may shower and nap,
which is all any new mother
really wants.

I shall try my hardest
to never say never,
for I just may end up
with a loud-mouthed,
bikini clad,
water gun shooting toddler
of my very own.

I shall remember that
no mother is perfect
and my children
will thrive because,
and sometimes even in spite, of me.

Reproduced with permission from  Feel free to add your own verse to the manifesto in the comments 🙂

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