Halloween Jokes


We asked all the Mykidstime Team parents to come up with their favourite Halloween jokes to share with you, so here’s the worst, goriest, groaniest jokes we could manage to rustle up!

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Why don’t skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don’t have anybody to go out with

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
“Do you believe in people?”

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are to heavy

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person’s corn flakes?
A cereal killer…

What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts…

What is a skeleton’s favourite musical instrument?
A trombone…

What do birds give out on Halloween night?

What’s a monster’s favourite dessert?

What is a Mummy’s favourite type of music?

What’s a monster’s favourite bean?
A human bean.

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand-witch.

Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?
Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

Why is a ghost such a messy eater?
Because he is always a goblin.

What are ghosts’ favourite kind of streets?
Dead ends…

Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To go to the body shop.

What happens when two vampires meet?
It was love at first bite!

Who was the most famous French skeleton?
Napoleon bone-apart…

Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath…

You might also enjoy Halloween Bingo or “Would you Rather?” for some more fun. We also have lots of more Halloween inspiration in Halloween Fun Ideas

Over to you now! Can you do any better? Tell us your favourite Halloween joke in the comments!


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This website was created by Jill Holtz and Michelle Davitt, both of whom are mothers of young children. Jill and Michelle decided to create this resource themselves, and launched mykidstime.ie in 2007.