You may have heard of the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why, or perhaps your teen has already watched it, or is asking to. The show attracted a lot of controversy over its central topic — teen suicide — and it’s still something parents search for guidance on today. Here’s a parent’s guide to help you decide whether to watch it, and how to talk about it with your teen.
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What is it?
13 Reasons Why is a Netflix series based on the best-selling young adult novel by Jay Asher.
The story follows Clay Jensen (played by Dylan Minnette) as he returns home from school to find a mysterious box with his name on it lying on his porch. Inside, he discovers a set of cassette tapes recorded by Hannah Baker, his classmate and crush, who tragically took her own life two weeks earlier.
Before her death, Hannah recorded thirteen tapes, each one dedicated to a person who she felt played a part in her decision — causing guilt, paranoia and fallout between the people she names. On the tapes, Hannah explains the thirteen reasons why she decided to end her life.
Recommended Reading: Tips for Talking to your Child about Teenage Suicide
What should parents know?
The series covers a number of heavy topics — teen suicide, bullying, sexual assault, and depression among them.
Netflix does flag some of the more difficult episodes with a content warning before they play, letting viewers know what’s coming.
There’s also a fair amount of strong language throughout. The IMDB Parents Guide gives a helpful, detailed roundup of exactly what’s involved episode by episode, which is worth checking before you or your teen watch.
Nic Sheff, one of the show’s writers, was forced to defend the show’s decision to include a graphic suicide scene, after some viewers felt it risked glorifying suicide rather than warning against it.
He wrote: “When it comes to suicide, I believe the message should be exactly the same. Facing these issues head-on — talking about them, being open about them — will always be our best defence against losing another life. I’m proud to be a part of a television series that is forcing us to have these conversations, because silence really does equal death. We need to keep talking, keep sharing, and keep showing the realities of what teens in our society are dealing with every day. To do anything else would be not only irresponsible, but dangerous.”
If you’re thinking of watching 13 Reasons Why with your teen, it’s worth having some talking points ready in advance so you can pause and discuss as you go, rather than waiting until the credits roll.
Recommended Reading: How TV Shows can Bring Parents and Teenagers Closer
Watching a show like this together, even in parts, can open the door to conversations that are otherwise hard to start — about mental health, about how your teen would feel able to ask for help, and about what support looks like for them and their friends.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is 13 Reasons Why suitable for my teen to watch?
That depends on your teen’s age and maturity, and how they cope with difficult subject matter. The series deals directly with suicide, sexual assault and bullying, so many parents choose to watch it alongside their teen, or at least know the content in advance, rather than let a younger or more sensitive teen watch it alone.
What age is 13 Reasons Why appropriate for?
The show is aimed at a teen and young adult audience, but because of its graphic content it’s worth checking a detailed parents’ guide first and making your own judgement based on your individual child, rather than relying on age alone.
Should I watch it with my teen or let them watch it alone?
Watching together, or at least talking about it afterwards, gives you the chance to check in on how your teen is feeling about what they’ve seen and to correct anything that felt overly dramatised or unrealistic.
What if I’m worried about a teen after watching this show?
If anything in the show, or a conversation it sparks, raises concerns about how a teen in your life is really feeling, that’s worth following up gently and directly, and reaching out to a qualified professional or support service if you’re concerned about their safety.
Related Articles
- Tips for Talking to Your Child about Teenage Suicide
- How TV Shows Can Bring Parents and Teenagers Closer
- Supporting Your Teen’s Mental Health at Home
Save This for Later
Not ready to watch or discuss this with your teen just yet? Bookmark this guide or share it with another parent who might find it useful — it’s a good one to come back to before you press play.
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