Do you have a child who just isn’t a big eater? Are mealtimes a daily battle in your house? My son was never a big eater, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get him to eat more. Here’s what I learned along the way, including what to do when your child is not a big eater.
My Story
“Go on, finish it,” I said, watching him gulp down a mouthful of egg and bread while nervously glancing at me. He knew that if he didn’t finish, I’d sulk for the rest of the day and make him try another ten different foods.
People say mums know their kids like the back of their hand — but kids know their mums even better.
His little eyes filled with tears, but he wanted to make me happy. His body, though, had other ideas, and he ended up bringing back up everything he’d forced down.
What I Learned
After struggling for six years, I finally had my moment of clarity.
Maybe it was never really about him — it was about me. I’d convinced myself that if he weighed less than other boys his age, it must be down to something I was doing wrong as a parent.
But here’s the thing: he’s active, and can outrun all his friends. He’s charming, confident, popular, and makes friends easily. He’s a great kid.
Yet every time I saw him with his friends, I found myself measuring his height and comparing his weight to theirs. My obsessive focus on how much he ate at every meal meant I was missing what actually made him wonderful.
I lost so many precious moments trying to measure him against one idea of what “healthy and normal” should look like. He tried his best to please me, but the poor child couldn’t change his own body just to make me feel better.
I learned this lesson the hard way, so here’s my advice to every parent whose child simply doesn’t eat as much as others seem to:
Tips for Parents if Your Child is Not a Big Eater
1. Every Child is Unique
Every child is different, so let your child enjoy being exactly who they are. Don’t judge them because they don’t look like other children or eat like them. Learn to respect — and celebrate — your child’s individuality.
2. Stop Comparing
Stop drawing comparisons with other kids in your head, and never, ever compare your child to others out loud, especially in front of them.
3. Don’t Reach for Supplements
Avoid starting your child on supplements or appetite enhancers without medical advice. These often only bring temporary relief and can create dependence.
4. Stop Doctor-Shopping
If your child has already been medically assessed and there’s no underlying health issue, try to let go of the worry that something must be medically wrong. Some children simply don’t eat as much as others, and that’s okay.
5. Understand Your Child’s Eating Habits
Try to understand your child’s own eating rhythm. My son, for example, preferred light snacks every couple of hours and loved fruit — he was never a “three big meals a day” kind of kid, and that was fine.
6. Focus on Nutrients, Not Volume
Try to offer a balanced range of foods rather than focusing on quantity. Once you understand how your child likes to eat, look for natural, healthy and interesting ways to get nutrients into their meals or snacks. If they prefer to graze, make sure what they’re grazing on is nutritious.
You might also like Top Tips for Fussy Eaters and Tips to Ensure Your Fussy Eater Gets Their 5-a-Day.
Bottom Line
Relax, and enjoy your child’s precious childhood moments. And remember — sometimes it’s the child who ends up teaching the parent the most important lesson.
Related Articles
- Top Tips for Fussy Eaters
- Tips to Ensure Your Fussy Eater Gets Their 5-a-Day
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