What can I do to prepare my toddler for a new baby? How will they react? How will I cope? If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone — and help is at hand. Here are 10 practical, tried-and-tested tips for surviving with a new baby and toddler, from parents who’ve been there.
Get ready for life with a new baby and a toddler with a little preparation, as much patience as you can muster, and by accepting help whenever it comes your way.
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Life With a New Baby and Toddler
#1. Manage Your Toddler’s Expectations
Before the baby arrives, it helps to talk with your older child about what to expect. A good starting point is during pregnancy — encourage your toddler to talk to the baby in your tummy. Explain what a newborn looks like, that they’ll cry often and need lots of sleep. A baby doll can work wonders for helping many toddlers picture what’s coming.
#2. Keep Up Your Routines
It’s a time of change for the whole family when a newborn arrives. That means the first few months can bring blissful sibling snuggles and shared naps one hour, and sleep deprivation and jealous acting out the next. Usually, it’s a mix of both.
The most important thing to remember is that you’re expanding your family and everyone’s role is shifting a little. Make one-on-one time for your toddler and any older children. Encourage them to help out, keep established routines going where you can, and praise them for being amazing big brothers and sisters to their new baby.
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#3. Ask for Help and Build a Support Network
We’re all so independent these days, and slow to ask for help because we think we can manage everything ourselves. In those early days home with a new baby, most of us could use a hand until a routine starts to settle.
A good network of friends and family can be a huge help — enabling you to catch a nap, enjoy a home-cooked meal someone else made, or simply have another pair of hands to hold a crying baby while you attend to your toddler. Don’t try to carry it all alone. Call in a few favours, and remember that an easier stretch really is just around the corner.
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#4. Consider How to Manage Breastfeeding
If you’re breastfeeding your new baby, look for opportunities for your toddler to see other babies nursing — a local breastfeeding support group meeting can be a great place for this, especially if you don’t already know other nursing parents. Books that show newborns and nursing babies can help too.
You may need to explain that a parent’s body makes milk for the baby, especially if your toddler has already weaned or was never breastfed themselves. Feeding time can also become a nice bit of downtime with your toddler — try a quiet game like “I Spy,” or keep their favourite book close by so they can sit with you while you feed.
#5. Give Your Toddler a Gift From the Baby
Once the baby is born, your toddler can feel quite jealous of someone else being in a parent’s arms. When they first meet the new baby, try wrapping a small gift “from” their new brother or sister.
It’s a simple trick, but it works — toddlers are often instantly delighted, and it helps build an early bond as they become more accepting of the new arrival.
#6. Give Your Toddler Little Jobs to Do
Once you’re home and settling into your new routine, your toddler can feel really important if you give them small jobs to do. Let them fetch nappies and wipes, or encourage them to talk and sing to the baby. It keeps your toddler busy and engaged, while gently stimulating your newborn too. Involving them from the start helps them feel needed and wanted — and much less likely to act out.
#7. Ask Your Toddler’s Advice
This is another easy way to get your toddler involved. When dressing the baby, lay out a couple of different outfits and let your toddler choose what the baby should wear that day.
Tell them how great they are for helping out with the baby’s daily routine — small moments like this can give their confidence a real boost.
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#8. Don’t Forget to Acknowledge Your Toddler
With a new baby’s needs front and centre, it’s easy for your toddler to feel like they’re just fitting in around the edges.
Once you’ve got the hang of life with the new baby at home, make time to get out and about with both children. A visit to your toddler’s favourite local park or playground gives them the outdoor play they need, gives you a welcome break from the house routine, and can be a good chance to meet other parents too.
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#9. Help Them Feel Connected to the Baby
Involve your toddler in the baby’s milestones — rolling over, crawling, taking first steps, and so on.
Ask them, “Did you help your baby brother/sister do that?” and follow up with “That’s great, well done.” Look for small ways your toddler can genuinely help with the baby, so they feel part of each new stage.
#10. Enjoy the Madness
Having a new baby and a toddler at the same time can feel like one of the most challenging stretches of parenting — but it’s also one of the most rewarding. You’re nurturing two wonderful little people who, in just a few short years, will grow into their own independent selves.
These years go by fast, and one day you’ll look back and relive these moments fondly. So try to enjoy it, and go easy on yourself — you’re only human, and you’re doing one of the most amazing jobs in the world.
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Frequently Asked Questions
How do I prepare my toddler before the new baby arrives?
Start talking about the baby early, even during pregnancy. Let your toddler “talk” to the bump, explain simply what newborns are like (lots of crying, lots of sleeping), and consider using a baby doll to help them picture what’s coming.
How can I stop my toddler feeling jealous of the new baby?
Give your toddler a role from day one — small jobs like fetching nappies, choosing outfits, or singing to the baby all help them feel included rather than replaced. A small “gift from the baby” at their first meeting can also help ease the introduction.
How do I find time for my toddler once the baby is here?
Look for pockets of one-on-one time, even short ones — a trip to the park, a shared game during a feed, or simply asking their opinion on something baby-related. Little moments of attention add up.
Is it normal for the first few months to feel overwhelming?
Yes — most parents describe the early months with a newborn and toddler as a mix of lovely and exhausting, often within the same hour. Asking for help and leaning on your support network isn’t a failure; it’s what gets most families through.
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- 15 Positive Parenting Techniques Every Parent Should Know
- 10 Positive Parenting Tips Every New Parent Should Know
- 41 Reasons You Know You’re Mom to a New Baby
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Juggling a new baby and a toddler is a lot to hold in your head at once — so save this article now and come back to it on the harder days. Browse more of our family life articles for practical, real-world parenting ideas whenever you need a boost.
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Have you juggled a new baby and a toddler at the same time? Share your own tips in the comments below — other parents would love to hear what worked for you.
