All families go through stretches of life that feel like too much at once — a period of upheaval, uncertainty, or just a run of difficult months. Here are our essential tips for parents on how to de-stress during stressful times.
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“I’m not feeling okay,” Sarah said. “I don’t think many parents are, at the moment. How do you de-stress during such a stressful time? Life has been thrown totally upside down and inside out.”
Sarah’s frank expression of how she’s feeling is one that many parents can relate to during periods of major disruption, uncertainty, or family upheaval.
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How To De-Stress During Stressful Times
#1. Be Gentle On Yourself and On Your Family
This is not “life as usual,” and in the words of Victor Frankl: “An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behaviour.”
If you or your family are feeling cooped up, on edge, or more reactive than usual right now, that’s a pretty normal response to an abnormal time.
#2. Take Each Day As It Comes
These words are often given as advice to people dealing with a significant loss or a time of upheaval and struggle. And it’s fair to say that during difficult stretches, every family — and sometimes the wider community too — is dealing with some form of loss.
That loss often comes from being displaced from normal life. Perhaps there has been a change in job, a shift to a different way of working, or a feeling of being cut off from colleagues and everyday routines. There can also be a loss of practical support from wider family and friends, particularly when distance or circumstances make it harder to visit and care for elderly relatives.
Many people also feel a loss of security, of personal space and “me time,” of being physically with friends and colleagues, of regular routine, or of involvement in sport and cultural activities, among other things.
Add these stress factors together, and it makes complete sense that at times you may feel overwhelmed.
So, as with any grief, handle what you need to handle today — and trust that is enough.
#3. Recognise Children Are Experiencing Loss Too
Our children are also dealing with loss during stressful times. Not being able to see friends as often, missing their usual school community, or facing a big life transition without the send-off they were hoping for can be huge for a child.
They too can lose their sense of personal space and “me time” — especially with the whole family under one roof more than usual.
For some children, it’s the loss of time with a parent who doesn’t live in the same household. Not being able to spend time with grandparents or wider family is another loss, as is missing out on regular activities.
Difficult times can also shake a child’s sense of security, and children absorb it when the adults they rely on are feeling stressed and anxious. So if your children act out, cut them some slack — remember they’re likely feeling anxious, scared, or overwhelmed too.
#4. Name And Claim Your Emotional Reactions
In any time of loss, people experience a rollercoaster of emotions — including anger, anxiety, guilt, denial, overwhelm, and sadness. When we acknowledge our feelings, even just to ourselves, we can get a better grip on what we’re dealing with.
When we name and claim our emotions, we can tame them. In other words, we may be challenged by strong emotions at this time, but we don’t need to let them grab the steering wheel.
Our feelings are never wrong — it’s what we do with them that counts.
#5. Support Your Child To Name and Claim Their Emotions
Yes, your child will act out at times. They’re doing the best they can under the current circumstances. Rather than scolding them for “bad” behaviour, hold in mind that all behaviour makes sense, and support them to restore their inner equilibrium.
After an upset, and once your child has calmed down, try talking through what happened. Sometimes they may be willing to open up about how they’re really feeling.
Top tip: The Disney Pixar movies Inside Out and Inside Out 2 are great ones to watch and discuss together as a family, because they give a clear picture of how emotions can sometimes take control in unhelpful ways — and yet there’s an important place for all of them, including sadness.
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#6. Build A Sense Of Hope
Look for ways to help your children navigate this time by giving them a sense of optimism. Perhaps an older family member can share how they got through a tough time in their own younger days.
Ask others what movies and books they’ve found helpful for their family during difficult periods.
Great children’s stories are not just for children! One beautiful book worth picking up is The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy, described as being “for ages 12–99 years old,” with the line: “When big things feel out of control…”
#7. Look For Things You Can Be Grateful For
Life can feel enormously challenging during hard seasons, and taking time to count your blessings releases “feel good” chemicals in your body, which help counteract the stress hormone cortisol.
One simple personal practice is to find something different to say “thank you” for each time you wash your hands — turning a routine moment into a small, regular practice of gratitude that helps induce calm, with a knock-on effect on the rest of the family.
#8. Do Creative, Fun Things…Or Take Some Time To DO NOTHING!
Both for yourself and with your family, make space for the things that give you pleasure and help you feel relaxed.
This matters because enjoyable, fun things that you want to do are one of the best de-stressors. They boost your family’s sense of well-being and are a proven factor in supporting a strong immune system.
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If this has helped you think about how to de-stress during stressful times, and given you some encouragement, we’d love to hear from you.
FAQ
What’s the quickest way to de-stress as a parent during a difficult time?
Start small: acknowledge how you’re actually feeling, be gentle with yourself and your family, and give yourself permission to just get through today rather than solving everything at once.
How can I tell if my child is struggling with stress?
Watch for changes in behaviour — acting out, clinginess, sleep changes, or withdrawal. These are often signs a child is processing loss or uncertainty rather than simply “misbehaving.”
Are there films or books that can help open up conversations with kids about feelings?
Yes — Inside Out and Inside Out 2 are excellent for talking through emotions as a family, and The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse is a gentle, beautifully illustrated read for all ages.
Is it normal for the whole family to feel more stressed than usual during upheaval?
Yes. Increased reactivity, low mood, or a shorter fuse are common, understandable responses to abnormal circumstances — not signs that something is wrong with you or your family.
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Want more ideas for looking after your own well-being alongside the kids? Browse our family life section for more practical tips, or sign up to our newsletter for fresh ideas delivered weekly.
What’s helping you to de-stress during a stressful time? Which of these tips resonates most with you? Leave a comment below — we’d love to hear from you.
