Finding out — or even suspecting — that your child is being bullied at school is one of the hardest things a parent can face. You want to fix it immediately, but it helps to have a clear, calm plan. Parenting expert Sheila O’Malley from Practical Parenting shares practical steps you can take if you think your child is being bullied.
Q: I think my child is being bullied at school, what should I do?
A: Here’s what I recommend:
#1. Tell them it’s not their fault
The bully is the one with the problem — often someone lacking in self-esteem themselves. It’s important that your child hears clearly, and hears it often, that none of this is their fault.
#2. Teach them tactics to make them feel more empowered
Give your child a few simple tactics for dealing with a bully in the moment. This might mean answering back sharply, laughing off a comment, or simply walking away and ignoring it.
#3. Encourage your child to feel confident around the bully
Encourage your child to act as confident as possible around the person bullying them — for example, facing them and calmly telling them to stop, then staying steady as they walk away.
#4. Inform the school
Talk to your child’s teacher, and the principal or Board of Management if needed. Ask what the school’s anti-bullying policy is and what steps they’ll take to deal with it.
#5. Keep a record of incidents
Keeping a written record of what happened, and when, is genuinely useful. It helps show the school the full pattern, rather than a single one-off incident.
#6. Remind your child that you’re on their side
Keep reminding your child that you love them and that you’re completely on their side, no matter what.
#7. Encourage your child to do something they’re good at
Time spent on an activity they enjoy and excel at can be a real boost to their confidence while things are being sorted out.
#8. Stay in touch till the situation is resolved
Keep checking in — with your child and with the school — until you’re confident the situation has genuinely been resolved, not just gone quiet.
Answer provided by Sheila O’Malley from Practical Parenting.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I know if my child is being bullied?
Watch for changes in behaviour — reluctance to go to school, unexplained upset after school, changes in sleep or appetite, or a drop in confidence. Trust your instincts and ask open, gentle questions rather than direct ones at first.
Should I contact the school straight away?
Yes. Once you have some sense of what’s happening, speak to your child’s teacher or the school as soon as you can. Ask about their anti-bullying policy and what steps they’ll take next.
What if my child doesn’t want me to say anything?
Reassure them that telling someone isn’t the same as making things worse — explain that adults getting involved is how bullying gets stopped. Involve your child in the conversation about what happens next so they feel some control over the process.
Related Articles
- Building Your Child’s Confidence and Self-Esteem
- How to Talk to Your Child About Difficult Feelings
- Supporting Your Child Through a Tough School Term
Before You Go
Every child’s situation is different, but you don’t have to figure this out alone. Browse more parenting advice and real-life tips from other parents on MyKidsTime, and save this article so you can come back to it whenever you need a reminder of the steps to take.
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