Are you worried about your teenager’s eating habits or how they feel about their body? It’s one of the harder things to watch as a parent — the signs can be subtle at first, and it’s not always easy to know what’s a normal teenage phase and what’s something more serious. Here’s some guidance on recognising the signs of an eating disorder and what steps you can take if you’re concerned.
People with anorexia become preoccupied with food, weight and body shape, and may restrict what they eat, or binge and purge, to avoid gaining weight. It’s important to understand that this isn’t really about food. It’s often a way of coping with emotional difficulties, perfectionism, or a need to feel in control when other parts of life feel unmanageable. With the right support, anorexia can be overcome.
A quick look at the media many teens consume shows an ongoing overemphasis on body image, and a lack of positive, varied role models. Many young people feel that media portrayals of body weight set an unrealistic, overly thin standard to measure themselves against. In Ireland, Bodywhys, the national eating disorder association, is a valuable source of information and support for families dealing with this.
What Is Anorexia? Can You Spot the Signs?
Anorexia usually starts with a desire to lose weight or change appearance. But as weight is lost, body image often becomes distorted, and the person believes they need to lose more. At its heart, anorexia is frequently about low self-worth and a need to take control of one aspect of life — food is often chosen because of its social and emotional associations.
For some, it can feel like a statement to a parent: “I don’t want you to control me any longer.” The phrase “starved for love” is sometimes used, reflecting a feeling of being loved for what you do rather than who you are.
Anorexia can also be linked to a fear of taking on the responsibilities of adulthood, with the body returning to a more childlike shape. This is sometimes seen in teenagers who took on adult or caring responsibilities from a young age. Our relationships with important adults in childhood shape how we see ourselves later on.
Families often feel frightened and frustrated watching a loved one lose weight, and struggle to understand why the person themselves can’t see it. The difficulty is that the internal self-image someone has built up over years can be far stronger than what’s reflected back in the mirror.
What Can You Do to Help Your Teen?
If you’re worried about your teenager, the most important first step is encouraging them to talk to their GP. A GP can carry out an initial assessment and help guide your family towards the right kind of specialist support, whether that’s a dietitian, a counsellor, or a service that specialises in eating disorders.
Therapy may involve the individual, the whole family, or a group setting, and the aim is generally to help the person build higher self-esteem alongside healthier eating patterns.
Many people with anorexia do recover well. Recovery tends to go better when the person themselves wants to get better — this can’t be forced, and it takes time. Getting help early on tends to lead to a better outcome. In more severe cases, additional medical support may be needed, and a GP is best placed to advise on this.
If you think your teen may have an eating disorder, reach out for help. It can be useful to remind yourself that the eating disorder, not your teenager, is driving some of what you’re seeing.
You might also like: When Your Mother Says She’s Fat: Thoughts on Body Image
Tips for Recognising & Dealing with an Eating Disorder
- Anorexia is not just about food
- It’s often a sign of underlying emotional distress
- Negative messages picked up in childhood can erode self-worth over time
- Low self-esteem is common among those affected
- Media can reinforce unhelpful body image ideals
- Big life changes can bring emotional upheaval, and food is sometimes the one thing a person feels they can control
- Watch for: noticeable weight loss, loss of menstrual periods, or frequent excuses to avoid eating
- Eating disorders can be serious, so early support makes a real difference
- If you’re worried your teen has an eating disorder, reach out to Bodywhys for information and support
- If you’re concerned about someone, let them know — gently and without judgement
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the early signs of an eating disorder in a teenager?
Look out for noticeable weight changes, a preoccupation with food, weight or body shape, skipping meals or making excuses not to eat, and unusual eating rituals. Emotional signs, like increased anxiety or withdrawal, often go hand in hand with these.
Is anorexia really about food?
Not at heart. Food and eating tend to become the focus, but anorexia is usually rooted in emotional difficulties, low self-worth, or a need for control rather than food itself.
Who should I talk to if I’m worried about my teenager?
Start with your GP. They can assess the situation and help direct your family towards the right support, such as a dietitian or a counsellor experienced with eating disorders. Bodywhys is also a valuable resource for parents in Ireland.
Can teenagers recover from eating disorders?
Yes — many people go on to make a full recovery, particularly when support begins early. Recovery takes time and works best when the person themselves is engaged in wanting to get better.
Where can Irish families find support?
Bodywhys, the Eating Disorder Association of Ireland, offers information, support and a helpline for both teenagers and parents. Visit www.bodywhys.ie for more.
You Might Also Like
- When Your Mother Says She’s Fat: Thoughts on Body Image
- Supporting Your Teenager Through Tough Emotions
- Building Confidence and Self-Esteem in Teens
If this article struck a chord, you may find it helpful to browse more of our family life articles for further support and ideas for parenting teenagers.
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