Losing a parent, or watching a family change shape after a separation, is one of the hardest things a child can go through. Rainbows Ireland is a small charity that supports children and young people through exactly these experiences — the death of someone close to them, or the changes that come with parental separation or divorce.
Rainbows Ireland runs peer support groups in primary and secondary schools, family resource centres, and youth and community projects right across the country. The children who attend aren’t unwell and don’t need medical treatment — they simply need help adjusting to a world that has changed, and the chance to know they’re not the only ones going through it.
Below, two families who’ve been supported by Rainbows Ireland share their stories.
How Rainbows Helped My Family With Separation
I will be eternally grateful to Rainbows Ireland — they helped my two daughters when my marriage broke down. My daughters were 14 and 8 at the time, and they felt like they were the only children in the world whose Daddy had left the family home.
By attending Rainbows, they got to spend time with other children in the same situation. Through group sessions with children their own age, they realised “it’s not just me.” It was reassuring for them, as they worked through the programme, to know there would be good days and bad days, and to come away with real coping skills for the harder ones.
As a parent, you battle daily to stay strong for your children while your own world feels like it’s falling apart. You’re dealing with your own emotions, the loneliness that separation brings, maybe financial pressure and all the worldly worries — but you’re still a parent, and you still have to help your children through their emotions too.
It’s tough trying to have the right answers all the time. But the programme gave my children the language to express themselves, the skills to understand their own feelings, and the reassurance that while their family looked different now, it was still a family — and that there are all kinds of families.
I feel my daughters were better prepared for the world because of the skills they learned at Rainbows. They weren’t afraid to express their emotions, and talking about them stopped the anger and resentment from building up.
As they’ve grown, I believe it helped ground them through their teenage years and into adulthood. It also made our bond stronger, because we worked through our emotions together — Rainbows gave them the confidence to know that talking things through, even when Mammy was sad too, was the best way forward.
How Rainbows Helped My Family With Bereavement
Rainbows Ireland helped my child and me during one of the hardest times of our lives, as we dealt with our grief after losing my child’s father — my best friend and husband.
I’d never heard of Rainbows until my sister suggested that my daughter and I look into their service. We were at a crossroads in our grief, taking two steps forward and three steps back. Some days were good, more were terrible, and some felt unbearable.
I had an overwhelming sense of fear — how could we do this without him? This wasn’t part of the plan. How would I get us through it? So many questions, and nobody who could answer them, or so I thought.
Rainbows were there to help, and that support was life-changing. The answer was: this is a one-day-at-a-time journey, and you can only do your best. Getting help was the real answer, and as a parent, that’s the best advice I can give — ask the experts. You’re not failing. You’re being a good parent who’s trying their best for your child.
Our Bereavement Journey
As a parent, you want to shield your child from death — but death is inevitable, and it’s something you simply cannot protect your child from. You just hope they’ll have many years before they have to face grief up close. Mostly, though, it isn’t something you can plan for or avoid. Grief comes in so many forms, and the one thing I’ve learned is that we all grieve differently.
Our journey began the morning my child was born, when my 59-year-old mother collapsed suddenly and passed away with no warning and no illness.
At her funeral, my young, healthy husband turned to me and said, “I have a terrible pain in my side, and it’s not going away.” Looking at him, I knew this was serious.
After scans and tests, we got news you only ever believe happens to someone else. We were told, bluntly and clearly, that he had stage 4 terminal lung cancer. Treatable, but not curable — the doctors gave him, at best, around three years.
We went home, sat with our new baby, and cried. After the initial shock, we decided to live our best life. We did, as best we could, until my husband died following a brave and dignified battle — exactly three years and three months later.
My then four-year-old went into complete shock. She was inconsolable and cried nightly for months for her father. He had been her main carer while I worked during his illness, and they were inseparable.
We thought we’d prepared her — that Daddy was sick, that Daddy was very unwell. But there’s no truly preparing a child, or any of us, for death. When we told her that her Daddy had died, her first words were, “Are we not a family anymore?” I couldn’t believe it. Children can be so direct in how they see the world in moments like that.
I found that her support needs changed over the years. What she needed at age four was different from what she needed at eight, and now, as she turns twelve, I see new needs emerging again.
Rainbows gave me the tools to understand this. It let my child see that she wasn’t alone — that other children her age had lost parents too, and that we weren’t so different after all. For the first time, she could talk to her peers about it.
Rainbows helped us find our family unit again. They pulled our little team of two together to see our new reality, in an age-appropriate way, and gave me the confidence to see that we were moving forward — that it was normal to have bad days, and just as okay to have good ones.
I’m eternally grateful that we reached out to Rainbows, and I’d recommend anyone going through something similar to reach out for support too.
How To Get In Touch With Rainbows Ireland
If you or your family need support, you can get in touch with Rainbows Ireland through their website or by emailing [ask@rainbowsireland.ie](mailto:ask@rainbowsireland.ie).
If you’d like to support their work, you can find details of how to donate on the Rainbows Ireland website.
Frequently Asked Questions
Who is Rainbows Ireland for?
Rainbows Ireland supports children and young people who have experienced the death of someone close to them, or whose family has changed because of separation or divorce. Groups are run for children of different ages, from young children through to teenagers.
Where do Rainbows Ireland programmes take place?
Programmes are delivered nationally, in primary and secondary schools, family resource centres, and youth and community projects across Ireland.
Do children need to be referred by a school to attend?
Families can reach out directly to Rainbows Ireland through their website or by email to ask about accessing support — you don’t need to wait for a school to make the first move.
Is Rainbows Ireland just for children who have lost a parent?
No. While many families come to Rainbows after a bereavement, the charity also supports children whose parents have separated or divorced, and the changes that come with that.
How can I support the work Rainbows Ireland does?
Rainbows Ireland is a charity, and donations help keep their support services running for families who need them. Details on how to donate are available on their website.
Related Reading
If this story resonated with you, you might also find comfort in our articles on supporting children through grief, helping kids adjust after a family separation, and talking to children about difficult family changes.
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