Getting kids and babies to sleep well is one of the biggest challenges of parenting — and often one of the most exhausting. To help, we spoke with baby and child sleep specialist Niamh O’Reilly of thenursery.ie, who shared her expert, no-fuss tips for better sleep at every age and stage.
Here’s what she had to say.
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How Much Sleep Should Your Kids Be Getting?
According to Niamh, preschool and school-age children should ideally be getting at least 10–11 hours of sleep a night. If your child is falling short of that, it’s worth looking for ways to encourage longer, better-quality sleep.
Niamh recommends starting by gradually bringing bedtime back to an earlier time, to avoid your child becoming overtired before it’s time to sleep. Do this over a week, moving bedtime back by 15 minutes every two days. This helps your child settle into a longer sleep, and also improves the quality of that sleep.
What Are the Different Phases of Sleep?
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For children, there are roughly three phases of sleep during the night, and within each phase are sleep cycles. Each sleep cycle lasts around 45 minutes, and children move in and out of these throughout the night.
According to Niamh, for the first four or five hours of sleep, your little one will be in quite a deep sleep.
From around 11pm or midnight onwards, the next three or four hours are a much lighter phase of sleep. This is often where parents notice difficulty, as children move from one sleep cycle into the next and may wake briefly.
For the last part of the night — from around 4am to 6 or 7am — children return to deep sleep once again. Niamh notes that if you have an early riser waking around 5am, they are missing out on this important final phase. In this case, she recommends trying to help them get back to sleep, even if it’s just for another hour.
How Can I Get Kids Back to Sleep When They Wake Too Early?
Set clear boundaries, and avoid engaging with any playful behaviour before it’s officially time to get up. Gro clocks are a great tool for giving children a sense of control while gradually bringing wake-up time back to a more reasonable hour.
What is Melatonin — and Why Is It Important?
Melatonin is the hormone our bodies produce that brings on that sleepy feeling. To encourage its production, Niamh recommends keeping the bedroom dark — blackout blinds are especially useful during the brighter summer months.
For a healthy sleep routine, she also advises dimming the lights as bedtime approaches, to help children wind down and feel calm.
If a child becomes overtired, they can struggle to reach that first deep stage of sleep, as their body ends up fighting the melatonin with adrenaline.
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How to Deal with Fear of the Dark
Beyond the obvious solution of a good nightlight, Niamh recommends paying attention to what specifically feels scary for your child — keeping in mind that what frightens one child might not bother another at all.
Playing games that involve the dark in a fun way, such as hide and seek in a dimly lit room together, can help reassure your child that the dark isn’t something to fear.
What is the Difference Between a Nightmare and a Night Terror?
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Nightmares are scary dreams that generally happen in the middle part of the night, during the lighter phase of sleep. Children will wake upset and will usually accept comfort from you.
Night terrors are different. They tend to happen earlier in the night, during deep sleep, and are often quite dramatic — your child usually won’t be comforted by you in the moment.
Niamh notes that night terrors are often far more distressing for the parent than for the child, and children usually won’t remember the episode the next day. She advises not dwelling on it the following morning, as talking about it too much can create anxiety around bedtime and sleep.
How to Avoid Nightmares
Niamh recommends being mindful of the type of TV older toddlers and children watch, to avoid anything that might frighten them and trigger nightmares. She also suggests turning off screens an hour before bedtime.
With older children, if they wake from a nightmare, try some sensory play or arts and crafts with them and gently ask what’s frightening them. Through play, they may be able to work through what’s bothering them, even if it isn’t immediately obvious.
How to Avoid or Deal with Night Terrors
Night terrors are often linked to a child being overtired, so Niamh advises keeping a close eye on bedtime timing and tiredness levels.
If your child tends to wake with a night terror around the same time each night, try gently rousing them about half an hour beforehand — lift them, give them a cuddle — to break the cycle. This can help soothe them through that change of sleep cycle before it becomes a night terror.
You can follow Niamh on Facebook and Instagram, or visit her website, thenursery.ie, for more sleep tips for babies, toddlers and children.
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many hours of sleep does my child need?
Preschool and school-age children should aim for at least 10–11 hours of sleep a night. If your child is getting less, gradually moving bedtime earlier by 15 minutes every couple of days can help.
Why does my child wake up so early in the morning?
Early waking often means your child is missing the important deep-sleep phase that happens between around 4am and 6–7am. Try gently helping them settle back to sleep, even for a short while, rather than starting the day straight away.
What’s the difference between a nightmare and a night terror?
Nightmares happen during lighter sleep, usually mid-way through the night, and your child will wake upset but able to be comforted. Night terrors happen during deep sleep, are more dramatic, and your child often won’t respond to comforting — and won’t remember it the next day.
How can I stop my child from having nightmares?
Keep an eye on what they watch on TV, especially in the run-up to bedtime, and turn off screens at least an hour before sleep. Talking things through with older children using play or drawing can also help.
Related Articles
- 15 Sleep Solutions for When Your Child is Struggling to Get Some ZZZs
- The Importance of a Good Night’s Sleep for Children and Adults
- The Ups and Downs of Co-Sleeping with a Five-Year-Old
Save These Tips for Later
Bedtime battles have a way of creeping back in, so it’s worth bookmarking this one to revisit whenever sleep goes off track. Browse more family life ideas on MyKidsTime for extra support along the way.
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