You know those parenting quotes that stop you in your tracks? The ones that make you think, that make you a little bit tearful, that get right to the heart of what it means to be a parent? Here’s one of our favourites: If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again, by Diane Loomans.
This gentle, honest poem has resonated with parents for years. It’s a lovely reminder to slow down, to connect over correct, and to cherish the everyday moments while they last — whatever age your child is now.
If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again by Diane Loomans
If I had my child to raise over again
I’d finger paint more, and point the finger less.
I’d do less correcting, and more connecting.
I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less, and know to care more.
I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.
I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I’d run through more fields, and gaze at more stars.
I’d do more hugging, and less tugging.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I’d teach less about the love of power,
And more about the power of love.
It matters not whether my child is big or small,
From this day forth, I’ll cherish it all.
Why this quote still means so much to parents
There’s a reason this poem keeps being shared, read aloud, and pinned to fridges. It doesn’t ask parents to be perfect — it simply asks them to notice. Noticing the finger paint instead of the mess. Noticing the connection instead of the correction. Noticing the child in front of you, at whatever age and stage they’re at right now.
Parenting is busy, tiring, and full of good intentions that don’t always survive contact with a Tuesday afternoon. Quotes like this one aren’t meant to add guilt — they’re meant to offer a gentle nudge back to what matters most.
More parenting words worth reading
If this poem moved you, you might also enjoy two more pieces that capture the quiet, fleeting nature of parenthood:
- The Last Time — a poignant reflection on the “lasts” we don’t always notice until they’ve passed.
- To My Grown Up Son — a heartfelt letter looking back on the years of raising a child, now grown.
Tell us what you think
What did this poem bring up for you? Did a particular line hit home? We’d love to hear your thoughts — share them in the comments below.
Frequently Asked Questions
Who wrote “If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again”?
The poem was written by Diane Loomans, and has been widely shared by parents around the world for its honest, heartfelt look at parenting priorities.
What is the poem “If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again” about?
It reflects on the small shifts a parent might make with hindsight — choosing connection over correction, presence over busyness, and affirmation over strict discipline.
Why do parenting quotes like this one resonate so strongly?
Many parents feel the tension between everyday demands and wanting to be fully present with their children. Poems like this articulate that feeling in a way that feels both comforting and motivating.
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Looking for more heartfelt reads on parenting and family life? Browse our collection of parenting quotes, poems and reflections for more moments like this one.
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