Outgrown your role but afraid to leave because you have flexible hours, or because you know the lay of the land at work? Feeling daunted by the thought of returning to paid employment? Patricia Tiernan, Accredited Career Coach, shares four powerful questions to help you work out whether now is the right time for you to start a new job.
As a career coach, I’ve worked with many mothers who are frightened to change jobs for fear their next employer won’t be as family friendly, and mothers who feel guilty for wanting their own space or career. These are common, understandable fears — but left unexamined, they can leave you feeling stuck.
Get a pen and paper and give yourself a little time to reflect. Answering these four questions honestly can bring real clarity to your decision.
#1. What is the ‘Best’, ‘Worst’, and ‘Most Likely Thing’ to happen?
We can often fixate on the worst things that could happen if we were to get a new job — fearing we won’t have a good working relationship with a manager, that hours will be unreasonable, that it will hurt us financially, or that it will affect our family badly.
As we get older we tend to over-estimate threats and become more risk averse. Get a wider, more realistic perspective by looking at the question from three different angles:
- What is the worst that could happen? Is there anything you can do to prevent the worst from happening? What would you do if it did?
- What is the best that could happen? What can you do to help make that happen?
- What is most likely to happen? (This is the one question we rarely ask ourselves — and it’s often the most reassuring answer.)
#2. What Effect Could A New Job Have On Those Dearest To You?
Part of what makes us feel stuck as mothers is the effect our decision will have on the rest of the family. Brainstorm ways that could help either option work well for you and for those closest to you. What supports, boundaries, or new routines could you put in place to make a change smoother for everyone?
#3. What are the ‘Pros’ and ‘Cons’?
It’s an oldie but a goodie. If you haven’t already, write out an honest, exhaustive list of what staying the same — or changing — would give you. Draw four columns: the pros and cons of taking a new job, and the pros and cons of staying where you are. Make sure your own core needs and values show up in each list too — things like achievement, autonomy, independence, connection, or confidence.
#4. What Regrets Do You Not Wish To Have?
Imagine yourself twenty years from now, looking back on your life. From that viewpoint, what decision would you like to see yourself making today? What regrets might you have if you don’t choose this option? If your child faced this exact decision later in life, what would you want them to choose, and why? What are you willing to do now to make sure you have as few regrets as possible?
Once you’ve answered all four questions, take a moment to reflect on which option best meets your needs. What’s one small step you could take today, based on your decision?
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I know if it’s the right time to change jobs?
There’s rarely a perfect moment. Working through questions about the best, worst, and most likely outcomes — alongside the effect on your family and your own long-term regrets — helps you make a grounded decision rather than one driven purely by fear or guilt.
What if I’m scared my new employer won’t be as family friendly?
This is one of the most common fears parents raise with career coaches. It’s worth researching a prospective employer’s flexibility policies directly and being upfront about your needs during the interview process, rather than assuming the worst without evidence.
I feel guilty for wanting a career change — is that normal?
Very much so, and you’re not alone in feeling it. Guilt doesn’t necessarily mean the decision is wrong; it often just means the decision matters to you. Separating the guilt from the facts of your situation — using a pros and cons list, for example — can help you see things more clearly.
What’s a practical first step if I decide to make a change?
Start small: update your CV, talk to your network, or research roles that fit the flexibility you need. Deciding on the “why” first makes the practical “how” much easier to tackle.
Related Articles
- 5 Effective Ways to Kick Start Your Job Search
- 4 Tips to Help You Identify Suitable Work as a Mum
Save This For Later
If you’re still weighing up this decision, bookmark this article and come back to it once you’ve had time to sit with your answers. Browse our Family Life hub for more real-world advice on balancing work and family.
Want More Ideas Like This?
Sign up to our free MyKidsTime newsletter for weekly ideas, offers and articles to support you through the everyday decisions of family life — straight to your inbox, no spam, unsubscribe any time.
