More often than not, if you work from home, people assume you’re basically a stay-at-home parent — available all day, responsible for the kids’ every need, no different to being at home full-time. That couldn’t be further from the truth in my case. Here’s why a work from home dad is not a stay at home dad, at least not in my house.
I should say upfront that this applies just as much to mums as it does to dads. But since I’m a dad, it’s my perspective you’re getting here.
Dad’s Actually Trying to Work
As a dad who very often works from home — and therefore, by extension, “stays at home”… except not really — I find the trickiest part of this setup isn’t sitting down to work. It’s convincing the kids that Dad is actually hard at work, even though he’s right here in the house.
And therein lies the difficulty.
My kids — and I suspect all young kids — have very clear, very defined ideas about how work and play are supposed to happen. In their eyes, you have to leave the house to go to work. You only stay home when you’re not working.
Kids think in simple, black-and-white terms. There’s no overlap, as far as they’re concerned, between two completely different worlds like work and home life. Work happens somewhere else, somewhere far away — definitely not in the house. So when Dad is home, how could he possibly be working?
That said, working from home might be a strange concept to a child’s way of thinking, but kids adapt to it fast. They’re remarkably intuitive, and once they spot a pattern or a routine, they’ll accept it — usually after a round of sharp, sceptical questions first.
Recommended reading: 20 Things to Never Say to a SAHM
The Working From Home Dad’s a Bit Boring
When working from home was still a novelty, “Yay, Daddy’s home!” — the kids would pop in for a chat or a nosey at what I was doing. These days, apart from a quick hello and a rundown of their school or crèche day, I’m pretty sure I’ve become the boring old sod who sits in a room at a computer all day.
I do wonder why they’ve stopped popping in to see me. I’ve no news or stories from an office or a commute anymore, so in their eyes I’m just… not that interesting. Honestly, I miss the novelty factor a little.
Recommended reading: 5 Unexpected Ways In Which Dads’ Parenting Style Differs
The Stay-at-Home Dad is a Hero
Unlike the dad who works from home, the stay-at-home dad’s role is a whole different level — doing absolutely everything required to keep the show on the road when it comes to the kids and the house.
So for anyone who thinks being a stay-at-home dad is a doddle compared to working outside the home — or even working from a makeshift home office — my only response is: really?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m mad about my kids and a completely devoted dad who loves nothing more than getting stuck into all sorts of messing once the working day is done or the weekend arrives. But — and there’s always a but — I’ll be honest: I’m not exactly blessed with an abundance of patience, and that’s simply not compatible with being a full-time stay-at-home parent. Because if there’s one thing any stay-at-home parent — mum or dad — needs more than anything else, it’s patience by the bucketload.
So because I know just how tough that job really is, I’m full of admiration for any stay-at-home dad I meet.
Before I had kids, I might have thought staying home all day minding them would be far easier than being in an office surrounded by adults. But with three kids of my own now, I fully appreciate the range of skills a stay-at-home parent needs just to keep the home a happy place for everyone.
Any dad who can keep his kids happy, entertained and occupied every single day is, in my opinion, a seriously skilled multi-tasker — and I take my hat off to him.
And if you’re trying to do both — mind the kids and work from home — I salute you doubly.
Recommended reading: Working Mothers vs Stay At Home Mothers
Do you ever think the term “stay-at-home dad” sounds more like an order being barked at someone than an actual job title? Maybe that’s just me.
Over to you — are you a stay-at-home or work-from-home parent? We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is a work-from-home dad the same as a stay-at-home dad?
No. A work-from-home dad is still working a job, usually with hours, deadlines and meetings — he just does it from the house instead of an office. A stay-at-home dad’s full-time role is running the home and caring for the kids, with no separate job on top.
Why do kids struggle to understand that a parent working from home is actually working?
Young children tend to think in very concrete terms — work happens away from home, and home is where you’re not working. It usually takes time, routine and a bit of gentle explanation before they accept that the two can overlap.
Which is harder — working from home with kids around, or being a full-time stay-at-home parent?
They’re different kinds of hard. Working from home means constantly balancing focus with interruptions, while being a full-time stay-at-home parent means being “on” for the kids and the house all day, every day, with no separate work to switch into. Neither is easy, and both deserve credit.
Can a parent successfully combine working from home with being the primary carer?
Plenty of parents do, but it usually takes support — whether that’s childcare, school hours, or a partner sharing the load — because trying to do both roles fully at the same time, all day, is genuinely tough.
You Might Also Like
- 20 Things to Never Say to a SAHM
- 5 Unexpected Ways In Which Dads’ Parenting Style Differs
- What Does a Stay-at-Home Mum Do All Day?
- Working Mothers vs Stay-at-Home Mothers
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