There’s a reason parents call these years the “terrible teens.” Hormones are all over the place, curiosity is at an all-time high, impulsive decisions happen more than you’d like, and phones and screens are never far from your teen’s hand. Steering your teen through this stage is a genuine balancing act — you want to give them independence, but you still need to know they’re safe.
Here are 5 ways to help you navigate the terrible teens.
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As soon as your child hits thirteen, it can feel to them like they’ve earned their freedom from parental oversight. What they don’t always realise is that this is exactly the point where you, as a parent, become more watchful — not less.
Setting a few ground rules early, and sticking to them consistently, makes a real difference. Here are some practical ways to navigate these years with a bit more confidence.
#1. Company Matters
Who your teenager spends time with genuinely matters.
Your child is at a stage where their personality is still forming and they’re more easily influenced than they’ll ever admit. The friends they choose now will shape who they become as an adult, so it’s worth staying interested — without hovering.
Some tips:
- Stay aware of who your teen is spending time with, both in person and online. Keep conversations about friends casual and ongoing rather than interrogative.
- Encourage open chats about their day and the people in it. Dinner time is a natural opportunity for this — sharing your own day helps make it a two-way conversation rather than a debrief.
Recommended Reading: 20 Important Things You Should Tell Your Teenager
#2. Social Media Ground Rules
Most social media platforms set a minimum sign-up age of thirteen, but reaching that age doesn’t mean a teen should be left to navigate these sites completely unsupervised. Beyond the usual worry of scams and inappropriate content, social media can also be a source of cyberbullying and can feed into unhealthy patterns of screen use.
Have a clear, calm conversation with your teen about what’s okay and what’s not on social media, and let them know upfront that you may check in on their accounts from time to time. Being upfront about this from the start — rather than introducing it later — helps keep trust intact.
Some families find a parental control app useful for keeping an eye on overall activity, particularly for younger teens who are new to social media. Whatever approach you take, checking in regularly matters more than the specific tool you use. Here’s a parent’s guide to social media sites popular with kids.
Recommended Reading: Posting Images & How to Stay Safe Online
#3. Limit Where and How Gadgets Are Used
It can help to keep devices in shared spaces rather than bedrooms — a family computer in the living room, or a rule that laptops stay on the kitchen counter, means you can naturally glance at what’s on screen as you pass by.
Setting reasonable time limits on gadget use is also worth doing, and there are parental control apps that let you set timers on specific apps, with warnings before access is paused.
It’s not only about time spent, though — it’s worth knowing what your teen can access online too. Filtering software and built-in device controls can help block content that isn’t appropriate for their age.
Recommended Reading: 11 Apps & Sites Parents Should be Aware Of
#4. Keep Communication Open
Before you ever hand your teenager a phone, it’s worth agreeing the ground rules together. Be clear that part of the reason for the phone is so you can check in on each other and know you’re both okay.
Ask them to reply to a call or text from you within a reasonable time. It’s a small thing, but it builds trust in both directions — and it works both ways. If your teen calls or texts you, try to respond just as promptly. Doing this consistently shows them that you’re their first call, not their backup plan, and it goes a long way toward strengthening your relationship with your teen.
If you ever feel you need more reassurance, some parental control apps let you check message delivery — but building real trust will usually take you further than monitoring alone.
Recommended Reading: Tips on Choosing a Mobile Phone for Your Child
#5. Keep Track of Their Whereabouts
Your teenager will want to spend time with friends unsupervised, and as unsettling as that can feel at first, it’s an important and healthy part of growing up.
Ask your teen to let you know where they are, framing it clearly as being about safety rather than control. A quick text is usually enough.
If you’d like extra peace of mind, some location-sharing or parental control apps can send you a notification of your teen’s whereabouts, or alert you if they move outside an agreed area.
Parenting a teenager isn’t easy, but with fair ground rules, honest conversations, and a little help from technology where it suits your family, you can help keep them safe while they find their own independence. Let them know, clearly and often, that you’re there for them no matter what.
Do you have any tips for navigating the teen years? Let us know in the comments below.
Frequently Asked Questions
At what age do the “terrible teens” usually start?
Many parents notice changes from around age twelve or thirteen, though every child is different. Hormonal changes, growing independence, and increased social media use often arrive around the same time, which is why this stage can feel sudden.
How much should I monitor my teenager’s phone and social media?
There’s no single right answer — it depends on your teen’s age, maturity, and how much trust has already been built. Many parents start with more oversight for younger teens and ease off gradually as their teen shows they can handle more independence responsibly.
Should I let my teenager have a phone at all?
That’s a personal family decision, but many parents find that being clear about expectations before handing over a phone — rather than after — makes the whole thing easier to manage.
Is it normal to feel anxious about my teen’s independence?
Yes, completely normal. Wanting to give your teen room to grow while still worrying about their safety is one of the most common tensions of parenting this age group.
Related Articles
- 20 Important Things You Should Tell Your Teenager
- A Parent’s Guide to Social Media Sites Popular with Kids
- Tips on Choosing a Mobile Phone for Your Child
- Parenting Tips: How to Deal with Teenagers
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