Got a joke-loving kid in the house? Halloween is the perfect excuse to fill their day with silly, spooky-but-safe humour. Whether you’re popping a note into a lunchbox each morning in the run-up to Halloween, breaking the ice at a Halloween party, or just looking for a giggle around the dinner table, this collection of 60 hilarious Halloween jokes for kids has you covered.
These jokes are clean, family-friendly and safe for kids aged 7 and up — though younger children will happily laugh along too, even if a few of the puns go over their heads! They feature the usual Halloween cast of ghosts, witches, vampires, skeletons, werewolves and zombies, so if your child is easily spooked, a quick chat beforehand can help. In fact, a good giggle is often a great way to take the fear out of Halloween’s spookier characters.
Jump to a section:
- Ghost Jokes
- Werewolf Jokes
- Skeleton Jokes
- Witch Jokes
- Vampire Jokes
- Monster and Zombie Jokes
- FAQs
Ghost Jokes for Halloween
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Q: What is a ghost’s favourite fruit?
A: Booberries.
Q: What do you call a spirit who gets too close to a camp fire?
A: A toasty ghosty.
Q: Which type of trousers do ghosts wear?
A: Boo-jeans.
Q: What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A: Spook-etti.
Q: When does a ghost eat breakfast?
A: In the moaning.
Q: Why was the ghost such a messy eater?
A: Because he was always goblin’.
Q: What do spirits send their friends while on holiday?
A: Ghostcards.
Q: Where do spirits go to send their post?
A: The ghost office.
Q: Which type of tree do ghosts like most?
A: Ceme-trees.
Q: Which room do ghost houses never have?
A: The living room.
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Werewolf Jokes for Halloween
Q: Who are cousins of the werewolf?
A: What-wolf and When-wolf.
Q: Where do werewolves store their things?
A: In a were-house.
Q: What do werewolves read to their children before bed?
A: Hairy tails.
Q: In what city do most werewolves live?
A: Howllywood, California.
Q: What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A: A hot dog.
Q: What do you call a werewolf that uses bad language?
A: A swearwolf.
Q: How do you make a werewolf laugh?
A: Give it a funny bone.
Q: What happens when you cross a werewolf with a cat?
A: You have to get a new cat.
Q: What time is it when a werewolf sees your dinner?
A: Time to get a new dinner.
Q: How do you know that a werewolf has been in your fridge?
A: There are paw prints in the butter.
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Skeleton Jokes for Halloween
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Q: Why did the skeleton go to the dance alone?
A: Because he couldn’t find any “body” to go with.
Q: Which musical instrument do skeletons play?
A: Trom-bone.
Q: What do skeletons order at restaurants?
A: Spare ribs.
Q: When do skeletons laugh?
A: When something tickles their funny bones.
Q: What do you call a skeleton that sits around all day?
A: Lazybones.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: He had no guts.
Q: Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
A: Sherlock Bones.
Q: Why do skeletons hate winter?
A: The cold goes right through them.
Q: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
A: It could feel it in its bones.
Q: What do you call a silly skeleton?
A: A numbskull.
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Witch Jokes for Halloween
Q: What kind of makeup do witches wear?
A: Mas-scare-a.
Q: What do they teach in witching school?
A: Spelling.
Q: Which of the witch’s friends was good at baseball?
A: The bat.
Q: What do you call a witch with chickenpox?
A: An itchy witchy.
Q: What do you call a cold, evil candle?
A: The wicked wick of the north.
Q: Why did the traveling witch throw up?
A: She was broom sick.
Q: Why do witches ride on brooms?
A: Because vacuum cleaners are too expensive.
Q: What do witches put in their hair?
A: Scare spray.
Q: What do you call a witch in the desert?
A: The Sandwich.
Q: What’s the problem with twin witches?
A: You never know which witch is which!
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Vampire Jokes for Halloween
Q: What song do vampires hate?
A: “You Are My Sunshine.”
Q: Why did the vampire like baseball?
A: Every night he got to turn into a bat.
Q: What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
A: You suck.
Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
A: To stop his coffin.
Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
A: Frostbite.
Q: Which building did the vampire visit in New York?
A: The Vampire State Building.
Q: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It’s a pain in the neck.
Q: What is a vampire’s favourite type of dog?
A: A blood hound.
Q: Which type of fruit do vampires like most?
A: Neck-tarines.
Q: What’s the first thing vampires do in the morning?
A: They wake up.
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Monster and Zombie Jokes for Halloween
Q: What tops off a monster’s ice cream sundae?
A: Whipped scream.
Q: What was the mummy musician’s favourite note?
A: The dead sea.
Q: How do monsters tell their future?
A: They read their horror-scope.
Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
A: His ghoul friend.
Q: What was the goblin’s favourite book?
A: Romeo and Ghouliet.
Q: What does it take to become a zombie?
A: Deadication.
Q: What was the zombie’s favourite party game?
A: Hide-and-go-shriek.
Q: What position did the goblin play in soccer?
A: Ghoul-ie.
Q: What do zombies read every morning?
A: Their HORRORscope.
Q: Who did the zombie take out on a date?
A: His ghoul-friend.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Are these Halloween jokes suitable for young children?
Yes. All 60 jokes are clean and family-friendly, aimed at kids aged 7 and up. Younger children can enjoy them too, even if a handful of the wordplay is a little beyond them.
Do the jokes include scary characters?
They feature classic Halloween characters — ghosts, witches, vampires, werewolves, skeletons and zombies — but every joke is written to be funny rather than frightening. Sharing silly jokes about these characters can actually help nervous kids feel less afraid of them.
How can I use these jokes with my kids?
Try slipping one into a lunchbox each day in the run-up to Halloween, reading a few aloud at a Halloween party, or using them as icebreakers for trick-or-treating groups and classroom activities.
Can I print these jokes out?
There isn’t a printable version of this list right now, but the jokes are easy to copy into a note, a card, or a lunchbox message — however you’d like to share the laughs.
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- 20 Ghoulishly Great Halloween Party Games for Kids
Save These Jokes for Later
Bookmark this page or save it to your phone so you’ve got a joke ready to go every day this Halloween — perfect for lunchboxes, car journeys, or breaking the ice at a party.
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