Are you beyond frustrated with your children at meal times? Honestly, we can hear the silent scream from here. First things first: you are not alone. Picky or fussy eating is the norm rather than the exception, and it’s usually a normal developmental phase that most children go through. That said, you still want some answers and solutions, so here are 9 practical tips to help you improve meal times with fussy eaters.
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If you’re dealing with a fussy eater, you’ll know they each have their own picky habits. Billy wants his pasta plain, Jenny doesn’t like that type of pasta, and Sean won’t eat pasta at all. But remember when Billy ate everything you put in front of him, and that time Sean ate a whole avocado but won’t even touch one now?
You may also enjoy: 8 Proven Family Dinner Ideas Your Picky Eaters will Love
Why Are Fussy Eaters So Picky?
Think back to when your child went from “aren’t we doing such a great job, he eats everything” to “please, please, just eat a slice of pizza or a bite of chicken.” Chances are your child was around 18 months to 2 years old at the time. There are a few reasons why toddlers start refusing food at this age:
- Their rate of growth begins to slow down, so they don’t actually need as much food compared to the baby stage.
- They are asserting their independence. Choosing what goes in their mouth is something they can actually control, so they go out of their way to control it.
- Toddlers have a very short attention span, so they’re easily distracted by toys, people, the floor, the ceiling — anything really.
- Refusing bitter vegetables may be an ingrained survival instinct. As toddlers gain mobility and start putting everything in their mouths, rejecting bitter foods (like vegetables) may once have helped avoid anything harmful.
With all this in mind, it’s easy to see how fussy eating develops, and that it isn’t a result of your parenting. It’s a relatively normal phase of development (unless your child is unwell or losing weight, in which case you should contact a health professional).
You may also enjoy: 9 Expert Tips to Encourage Your Child to Eat More Vegetables
Fussy Eaters: Will My Child Grow Out of It?
In general, although not always, children do grow out of it. To help that happen — and to save some stress at the dinner table (and pasta off the floor) — here are some simple strategies to try.
#1. Offer a Variety
Continue to offer your child a wide variety of food at mealtimes, even if they refuse to eat it. Research shows children need to be offered a new food anything from 7 to 20 times before they accept it, while parents tend to give up after just three attempts.
#2. Set a Good Example
Model the behaviour you want your child to have. Don’t give them a plate of veggies and then join them at the table with chips and a fizzy drink. The whole family needs to model the same healthy eating habits to encourage fussy eaters to try something new.
#3. Speak Positively
Watch your language around food. Talk about “healthy” food in a positive way — “oh, this pepper is delicious” — rather than “eat your healthy stuff first and then you can have the nice foods.”
#4. Limit Snacking for Fussy Eaters
Allow plenty of time between snacks and meals. If your child has had a yoghurt and toast 30 minutes before dinner, they’re unlikely to have much appetite left. The same goes for too many drinks between meals (other than water), which can fill up little tummies.
#5. Make Food Fun
Let your children play with food away from the table. Pop a couple of extra carrots or cucumbers into your shopping basket and let them play shop or kitchen with real food. Let them blow peas, squirt tomatoes, paint with onion stamps, and generally have fun with it.
#6. Use All Your Senses
If your child won’t even put the food in their mouth, get them to smell it, feel it, look at it. Look at the different shapes of peppers in the supermarket, smell different fruits, or get them to guess what you’re cooking while dinner’s on. Spark their curiosity about food.
#7. Don’t Offer Alternatives
If they don’t like what’s on offer, or aren’t hungry, that’s fine — but don’t make toast or offer an alternative meal instead.
#8. Be Creative
Offer your child vegetables in lots of different formats. Try carrots roasted, puréed, raw or grated — they may like them one way and hate them another. Experiment with different ways to serve a food they’re struggling with, but always make sure it tastes good; nobody enjoys overcooked or bland food.
#9. Try Food Chaining
Food chaining can help expand a child’s range of foods. It involves gradually linking similar but slightly different foods until the child accepts a new one. Say Billy will only eat chicken nuggets from a takeaway. One day, try frozen chicken nuggets instead for a week or so until he’s happy with them, then try homemade nuggets, and eventually work towards grilled chicken. It’s a slow but effective strategy used by many feeding experts. The key is patience — don’t rush the process.
You may also enjoy: Tips to Ensure Fussy Eaters Get Their 5-a-Day
The Pressure Point for Fussy Eaters
Last but not least, and most important of all: do not put pressure on your child to eat anything. Don’t ask them to “eat one more bite,” or promise ice cream if they eat their broccoli. This kind of bargaining (and most of us have done it) tends to backfire.
Research shows that children who are pressured to eat vegetables in return for a treat end up liking the treat more and the vegetable less. So try to let go of bribing, cajoling, forcing, threatening and even over-praising at the dinner table.
Instead, it’s worth following Ellyn Satter’s “Division of Responsibility” — a widely respected approach to feeding children:
- The parent is responsible for choosing and preparing the food.
- The child is responsible for deciding how much of it to eat.
In practice, that might mean cooking what you want your children to eat, and letting them eat it or not, without getting stressed about it — simply reminding them there’s nothing else until the next meal.
If you try these strategies with your fussy eaters, you’re helping set them up for a healthier relationship with food over the long run.
You may also enjoy: 13 Expert Tips to Help Your Picky Eaters
Fussy Eating: Your Questions Answered
Why has my child suddenly become a fussy eater?
It’s very common for toddlers to become fussier around 18 months to 2 years old. Slower growth, a growing sense of independence, short attention spans, and a natural wariness of new tastes can all play a part. In most cases, it’s a normal phase rather than a sign of a problem.
Will my fussy eater grow out of it?
In general, yes — most children grow out of fussy eating over time, especially when parents keep offering a variety of foods calmly and without pressure. If you’re worried your child seems unwell or is losing weight, it’s best to check in with a health professional.
Should I make a separate meal if my child refuses dinner?
It’s generally better not to. Offering an alternative like toast or a different dish can reinforce fussy habits. If they’re genuinely not hungry or don’t fancy what’s on offer, that’s okay — the same food will still be there next time.
How many times might my child need to try a new food before they like it?
Research suggests children may need to be offered a new food anywhere from 7 to 20 times before they accept it, so repeated, pressure-free exposure really does help.
Looking for More Family Food Ideas?
Browse our family food and recipes section for more practical advice, meal ideas, and tips for feeding fussy eaters — and don’t forget to save this article for the next time dinner turns into a negotiation.
Keep reading:
- 8 Proven Family Dinner Ideas Your Picky Eaters will Love
- 9 Expert Tips to Encourage Your Child to Eat More Vegetables
- Tips to Ensure Fussy Eaters Get Their 5-a-Day
- 13 Expert Tips to Help Your Picky Eaters
What hurdles do you face with your fussy eaters? Leave a comment below and let us know — we’d love to hear from you.
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