I didn’t plan on extended breastfeeding, but here I am now tandem feeding a newborn and a toddler. If you’re wondering what to expect, here are my extended breastfeeding tips and advice, from avoiding the dreaded ‘nip whip’ to dealing with teething toddlers.
I can wholeheartedly admit I am an “accidental” extended breastfeeding mum. I’ve had my struggles in the past when it comes to breastfeeding, but here I am three years later and I am “still” feeding her.
In fact, I despise that saying, “are you still feeding her?” – I hear it at least once a week and it really grinds my gears. I totally get that some people are curious, but for others their expressions tell it all. My three-year-old daughter is not ready for our breastfeeding journey to be over, and I am completely okay with that. So what is the issue?
We also added a newborn to the madhouse recently, so I have a fresh little squish to feed who is now almost three months old.
You may also enjoy: 10 Tips for Surviving With a New Baby and Toddler
What Is Extended Breastfeeding?
Extended breastfeeding is miles away from breastfeeding a new baby – there is no engorgement, no leaking and no spit up at silly o’clock. I have read a huge number of posts over the years about extended breastfeeding, but they are rarely written by a mum who has fed past one, so here is my experience, my tips, and what you need to know about breastfeeding a toddler.
First and foremost, extended breastfeeding is completely normal. In fact, the World Health Organisation promotes it. Breastfeeding is recommended from birth up to six months of age, with continued breastfeeding alongside appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond.
My Tips for Breastfeeding a Toddler
Consider Your Words for Nursing
We call it “boobie” – I have no clue why, but it is what it is. My daughter never asks for “boobie” outside of the home unless she is sick, but that’s not the case for every nursing toddler. You might try a code word such as “num nums” or something less likely to catch someone off guard when you’re out and about.
On that note – I couldn’t give a rat what people think, but I am thinking of other mums who feel nervous about feeding in public. Breastfeeding in public should never offend, but unfortunately, some people still find it – particularly extended breastfeeding – awkward or surprising.
Hormones and Milk Changes
If your menstrual cycle has yet to return (it varies for everybody), be aware that your milk may taste different during your period and your let-down can be slower than normal. Try to be patient if your toddler wants to feed for longer during these times.
Protecting Their Immune System
While breastmilk is no longer a toddler’s main source of nutrition, even at two, three or four years old it can still help build their immune system and fight off infection.
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Teething and Biting
Nursing a toddler can bring sore nipples along with teething and general toddler mischief. If your toddler has a blocked nose or is cutting a tooth, they may clamp down harder and faster, which can hurt. Talk with your toddler and explain why it’s important to be gentle. Also, with a mouthful of teeth, your usual position may become uncomfortable, so try repositioning your toddler to help prevent latch issues.
‘Nip Whip’
Watch out for nip-whip – you’ll know exactly what I mean when it happens! Always stay alert when feeding a toddler, as they may whip their head back mid-feed, pulling your nipple with them and stretching it painfully, which can startle both of you.
Breastfeeding a toddler in public should be the norm, though it’s still not something you see often. If you prefer privacy, many public spaces around the country have nursing rooms or baby-changing facilities you can use.
Cavities and Baby Teeth
If you’re worried about cavities, rest assured that research has found human milk alone does not cause tooth decay. Make sure to brush your child’s teeth before bed so that if they nurse to sleep, it’s only your milk in their mouth overnight.
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Extended Breastfeeding While Pregnant
If you’re breastfeeding a toddler and discover you’re pregnant, here’s what you need to know about breastfeeding while pregnant – because if you’re anything like me, you’ll wonder whether it’s safe and how difficult it will be.
Contractions
Breastfeeding during pregnancy can cause minor uterine contractions. In a normal, healthy pregnancy, this is generally considered fine, but always tell your midwife or obstetrician that you’re breastfeeding while pregnant. In some circumstances – a high-risk pregnancy, carrying twins, or experiencing uterine pain or bleeding – they may advise weaning your baby or toddler off the breast.
Milk Changes
It’s highly likely your milk supply will drop at some point during pregnancy due to hormonal changes. It may happen gradually or seemingly overnight – everybody is different.
If it’s gradual, your child may barely notice, though a verbal toddler might tell you your milk tastes different. Over time, your milk will begin to turn into colostrum as your body prepares for the new baby.
A small amount of pregnancy hormones will pass into your milk to your toddler, but this poses no risk to your child.
Nipple Discomfort
Some expectant mothers experience discomfort while breastfeeding during pregnancy, especially around the nipple area. Pregnancy alone can increase breast sensitivity, so if you want to keep feeding, distraction can genuinely help.
It’s also worth investing a little in your comfort – breast compresses and nipple creams are popular with many breastfeeding mums and are widely available. If you’re unsure what suits you, your public health nurse, lactation consultant or pharmacist can point you toward suitable options.
Nipple stimulation is also linked with the release of oxytocin, the hormone involved in both milk let-down and labour contractions – another reason to keep your care team in the loop if you’re feeding while pregnant.
Breastfeeding Calories
You’re growing a baby and feeding a little one, all while trying to keep your own health on track – and quite possibly minding other children too. That’s a lot to ask of your body, so make sure you’re eating enough to support yourself without running yourself into the ground.
Breastfeeding a toddler is mostly about comfort in my experience. I’ve tried to wean my daughter on various occasions, but she’s never been fully ready, and at this point I’m happy to let her wean naturally. Until then, we use this time to reconnect for a few minutes before she runs off to fuss over her baby sister or join the chaos with the older three.
Many mothers, like me, continue to breastfeed a toddler after a new baby arrives – this is known as tandem feeding, and it’s completely normal.
Breastfeeding Support
If you’re expecting a baby in the Dublin area and considering breastfeeding, it’s worth looking into breastfeeding preparation classes run by local providers such as Breastfeedingsupport.ie – check their current schedule and pricing directly, as these can change.
If you’re based elsewhere in Ireland, Friends of Breastfeeding, La Leche League Ireland and Cuidiú are all worth getting in touch with for support and local groups.
If you’re reading from outside Ireland, a search for breastfeeding support groups in your own area, or a chat with your public health provider, is a good place to start.
You may also enjoy: No More Naps? Try These Tips from Parents for Toddler Quiet Time
Frequently Asked Questions
Is extended breastfeeding normal?
Yes. The World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding from birth to six months, with continued breastfeeding alongside solid food up to two years of age or beyond, for as long as mother and child wish to continue.
Does breastfeeding a toddler cause tooth decay?
Research has found that human milk alone does not cause cavities. Good general dental hygiene, such as brushing teeth before bed, is still recommended.
Can I keep breastfeeding my toddler if I’m pregnant?
In most healthy pregnancies, yes. Breastfeeding while pregnant can cause mild uterine contractions and a drop in milk supply, but it’s generally considered safe. Always let your midwife or obstetrician know you’re breastfeeding, as they may advise differently in higher-risk pregnancies.
What is tandem feeding?
Tandem feeding is when you breastfeed two children of different ages – for example, a toddler and a newborn – during the same period. It’s a common and normal part of many extended breastfeeding journeys.
Where can I find breastfeeding support in Ireland?
Friends of Breastfeeding, La Leche League Ireland and Cuidiú all offer support and local groups around the country. Some private providers also run preparation classes in various regions – it’s best to check current details directly with them.
Related Articles
- 10 Tips for Surviving With a New Baby and Toddler
- What Is Gut Health and Why Is It So Important For Your Baby?
- 4 Myths About Dental Care For Kids
- No More Naps? Try These Tips from Parents for Toddler Quiet Time
Before You Go
Are you considering extended breastfeeding, or navigating tandem feeding yourself? We’d love to hear your tips and experiences – drop a comment below and let us know.
Looking for more real-life parenting tips like these? Browse our family life section for more honest advice from parents who’ve been there.
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