Pregnancy is an exciting, exhausting, hormonal rollercoaster — and somehow it also seems to give people permission to ask the nosiest, rudest and most awkward questions imaginable (never mind reaching out to touch the bump without asking). If you’re expecting, you already know the drill. If you know someone who is, consider this your gentle warning. Here are 11 things you should never say to a pregnant woman.
1. “Was It Planned?”
Since when is it okay to interrogate someone about how they conceived? This is never okay. You might as well ask, “Do you have sex regularly?” or “Were you using contraception?” Some questions just aren’t for polite conversation — or any conversation, really.
2. “Are You Sure You’re Not Having Twins?”
Most mums-to-be wait until after their first scan before sharing their news, so trust us — we have the proof. There is one baby in here. If you’re trying to say she looks big, there are kinder ways to skip that comment altogether.
3. “I Think You’re Having a Boy/Girl…”
Let’s get one thing straight: you cannot tell a baby’s sex from someone’s shape, skin, cravings, or anything else. That’s not science, that’s an old wives’ tale — and it’s best kept to yourself unless asked directly.
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4. “Are You Planning Any More?”
Let’s get this one out first, shall we? Most parents haven’t given a second thought to baby number two (or three) while they’re still waiting to meet the one currently doing gymnastics on their bladder.
5. “I Thought You Were Finished?”
If she was finished having babies, would she be pregnant right now? Fairly straightforward logic, that one.
6. “Can I Touch Your Belly?”
Unless you’re the one who helped put the baby in there, or you’re the midwife who’ll be helping get it out, please don’t reach for the bump. A pregnant body isn’t public property, and it’s completely fine to ask first — and completely fine for her to say no.
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7. “Wow, Weren’t You Hungry!”
A pregnant woman is often hungry, and that’s completely normal. Growing a person takes energy. Comments on what — or how much — she’s eating are never necessary.
8. “You Look Tired”
She knows. She’s exhausted. Reminding her doesn’t help. If you want to comment on how she looks, tell her she’s glowing — it costs nothing and lands a lot better.
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9. “You’re Very Hormonal!”
Pointing this out has never once made anyone less hormonal. If anything, it’s a fast way to find out exactly how hormonal she can be.
10. “My Labour Was Hell!”
No pregnant woman wants the gory blow-by-blow of someone else’s labour story, especially if she didn’t ask for it. She already knows the baby has to come out one way or another — she’d rather not dwell on the details just yet.
11. “Anything Yet?”
Rest assured, nobody is keeping the arrival a secret. The second that baby is born, everyone will know — likely via fifty photos sent to the family group chat within the hour. There’s no need to ask every other day.
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What to Say Instead
If you’re not sure what’s safe to say to a pregnant friend, family member or colleague, you’re not alone — most people mean well but simply don’t think before they speak. Simple, warm comments like “You look great,” “How are you feeling?” or “Let me know if you need anything” go a long way. When in doubt, less is more, and letting her lead the conversation is always the safest bet.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it ever okay to ask a pregnant woman if she’s having twins?
It’s best avoided. Even if it’s meant as a joke, comments about size can feel hurtful. If you’re genuinely curious about her news, let her share it in her own time.
Why shouldn’t I touch a pregnant woman’s bump?
A pregnant body is still her body. Always ask first, and be ready to accept a “no” gracefully — some women love the attention, others find it intrusive.
What should I say to a pregnant friend instead of commenting on her appearance?
Ask how she’s feeling, offer practical help, or simply tell her she looks well. Keep it warm, keep it brief, and let her steer the conversation if she wants to say more.
Is it rude to ask a pregnant woman when she’s due?
Generally not — most expectant mums are happy to share their due date. It’s the follow-up comments (about size, timing, or “any day now?”) that tend to cause more offence.
Related Reading
Looking for more honest, relatable takes on pregnancy and new parenthood? Don’t miss our pieces on the real difference between your first and second pregnancy, top tips for preparing for a new baby, and all the things you should never say to a stay-at-home mum.
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Know someone who could do with a gentle reminder before they open their mouth at the next baby shower? Bookmark this article or share it along — it might just save an awkward conversation.
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