I do love technology. I have my share of nostalgia for old-school things like vinyl and photo film, but I’m convinced that digital rules. Still, when I became a parent, I started to have real concerns about kids and devices — probably because that’s the constant message parents get. So I started asking myself: how bad is it, really? Here’s how I learned to stop worrying and love kids’ technology.
Sign up for our free newsletter packed with information and great offers. Or join us on Facebook, X (Twitter), Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube.
It wasn’t until I became a parent that I started to have doubts and concerns. We’ve all heard the warnings about technology: children get spoiled and lazy, they lose their imagination and don’t know how to play anymore, they need to be entertained constantly.
To get past all this, you need to understand one thing: technology isn’t a devil, it’s a tool. Used the right way, it won’t spoil or harm your children.
Many parents still treat technology as a necessary evil. They know fighting it is pointless since everyone around them is using it, but they still grumble that “kids today are always glued to their devices” and “back in my day…”
So what’s actually gone wrong, and what can we do to put it right?
Recommended reading: Screen Time: How Much Is Too Much for Kids
“Kids don’t play outside anymore”
Okay — what did you do back in your day? The first and most likely answer is “we played outside.” So let your kids go outside too.
I’ve never met a preschooler who’d rather play a game on a tablet than hide-and-seek with their friends. It’s us, the parents, who often keep them indoors, usually because we think it’s safer that way.
Yes, our kids can become lazy. But it’s rarely because of tablets and phones — it’s often because we’re too tired to get out to the playground twice a day when they’re toddlers, or too cautious to let them roam a bit more as they get older. Then, when they’re fourteen, we wonder why they’d rather sit with a laptop than get on a bike.
Recommended reading: 101 Fun Activities for Kids That Don’t Involve Screen Time
“Kids don’t talk to each other, they just stare at the screen”
Sad, but often true — and the saddest part is that they’re only mimicking us.
Children learn their social habits at home. They watch us to learn how to behave. If they’re staring at screens and scrolling non-stop, it’s often because that’s what they see the adults around them doing, and so they assume it must be the normal way to spend time.
If you want them to chat in person and bond with their friends, start by talking to them. Talk to your partner, to your friends, and make a habit of disconnecting from your own phone at dinners and on weekends.
Curb your own screen time first, then set limits for your children. Do this while you’re still a role model to them — not once you’ve become the “uncool old folks” who nag about phones. By then, it’s a much harder conversation.
Recommended reading: Choosing a Mobile Phone for Kids & How to Know if Your Child Is Ready for a Smartphone
“They don’t remember anything”
Another thing parents often blame on technology is that children seem distracted and forgetful. Why remember something when it’s all just a search away? They’re always seconds from any answer they need.
I’d push back on that. If children don’t bother remembering something, it’s usually because they don’t find it interesting or important enough — not because a search engine exists. If they won’t put in the effort to learn something properly, it’s because they haven’t been shown why it matters. It’s as simple as that.
Our brains are wired to hold on to information that feels fascinating or genuinely useful. Technology hasn’t changed that. What it has done is give us far more tools to shape information into something engaging for kids.
The internet is the largest, most varied source of information there has ever been. Our job as parents is to spark curiosity and encourage our kids to want to learn for themselves.
Children have always preferred games to study — that hasn’t changed. Noughts and crosses taught earlier generations logic; playing shop taught addition and subtraction. Technology hasn’t undone that instinct — if anything, there are now more apps than ever designed to teach through play.
Recommended reading: 11 Free Educational Games That Kids Will Love
“Kids today are exposed to violence and explicit content”
The most talked-about worry with digital technology is how easily children might come across “adult content.” It’s the same thing my mother used to say about television. The same thing her mother said about cinema. Her mother probably said something similar about certain books and theatre.
Let’s be honest: there was never really a golden age of childhood innocence. Long before smartphones, children could still be exposed to violence or unsuitable content at home. You can’t fully shield a child’s eyes from everything that isn’t perfectly age-appropriate.
What you can do is talk to them openly, so the “forbidden fruit” appeal fades. You can also use the parental control tools built into most phones and tablets today to filter and manage what your child can access — and this is arguably far easier than it ever was to keep unsuitable content out of the house in the past.
Technology brings some risks, yes — but it also gives you real tools to build a safer space for your children, once you know where to look.
Recommended reading: Putting Parental Controls on Your Child’s Mobile Device & Keeping Your Child Safe Online
Why I keep coming back to loving it
I remember how I used to learn things at school. If I didn’t know what a word meant, I’d ask my mum, and she’d explain it or hand me the encyclopaedic dictionary that lived on our shelf. If that didn’t have the answer, it was off to the library, where the sheer scale of a full encyclopaedia set felt like a sea of knowledge. If I still couldn’t find what I wanted, the question might just haunt me for years.
Now, my child can find an answer to almost anything in seconds — and so can I. If my little girl and I spot a flower on our morning walk and want to know what it is, we search for it together, and a few seconds later we both know a little more about the world around us.
Isn’t that worth falling in love with technology for, every single day?
Recommended reading: The Ultimate Technology Guide for Kids and Their Parents
Over to you
Do you love or loathe your children’s relationship with technology? Let us know in the comments below.
Frequently asked questions
Is technology really bad for kids?
Not on its own. Technology is a tool — how it’s used, and the habits families build around it, matter far more than the devices themselves.
How much screen time should my child have?
There’s no single number that suits every family. Rather than fixating on the clock, focus on balance: outdoor play, face-to-face time, sleep and schoolwork should all still have their place alongside screen time.
How can I help my child use technology safely?
Talk openly with your child about what they see online, use the parental control features built into their device, and keep an eye on how and when they’re using it — especially as they move toward having their own phone.
Should I be worried my child prefers screens to playing outside?
Not necessarily — but it’s worth checking that outdoor play and unstructured time with friends are still part of their week. Often, children mirror the habits they see in the adults around them.
More from MyKidsTime
- Screen Time: How Much Is Too Much for Kids
- 101 Fun Activities for Kids That Don’t Involve Screen Time
- How to Know if Your Child Is Ready for a Smartphone
- Keeping Your Child Safe Online
Don’t miss our next update
Enjoyed this? Sign up for our free weekly newsletter for more honest, practical parenting reads, family activity ideas and offers, straight to your inbox.
