If asking “how was your day?” only ever gets you a shrug, a “fine,” or a flat “don’t know,” you’re not alone. Most children need a bit of help to unlock what’s actually swimming around in their heads after a busy day at creche. The good news is that a few small changes to how — and when — you ask can turn silence into real conversation.
Sign up for our free monthly newsletter, packed with ideas, competitions and offers.
Getting a Little Extra Help From Your Creche
Some creches now use apps and communication platforms — like Child Paths — that share updates, photos and notes from your child’s day in real time. If your creche uses a tool like this, it’s a handy way to see snapshots of what your child got up to before you even collect them.
Having a few concrete details in hand — the toy they played with, the friend they sat beside, what was on the lunch menu — makes it much easier to start a conversation your child can actually respond to, rather than relying on a vague question they don’t know how to answer.
Even without an app, the tips below work just as well with whatever small details you do have — a note from a teacher, something you spot on their clothes or in their bag, or just what you remember from drop-off that morning.
How To Get Your Child To Open Up About Their Day
Some children run out of creche or school bursting to tell you everything. Others go quiet. Here are some gentle ways to help your child open up about their day, whichever kind of child you have.
Don’t Bombard Them With Questions
Try not to bombard your child with questions the moment you see them. They’re often tired and, just like adults, may need a little time to decompress after a full day.
Sharing a snack together or curling up with a book first can help your child relax — and once they’re settled, you’ll often find a much better opening for some gentle, low-key chat about their day.
You May Also Enjoy Are You Being Present With Your Child? These 10 Obstacles Could Be Getting in the Way
Talk About Their Day, Rather Than Question Them
Questions that only need a yes, no or “don’t know” tend to shut a conversation down fast. Try talking about their day instead of quizzing them on it.
If you have a few details from a creche app, a chat with staff, or just something you noticed, use them to jog your child’s memory instead of asking a direct question.
For example:
- Instead of “What was the best toy you played with today?”, try “I see you were playing with the big yellow truck today.”
- Instead of “Who did you play with in creche today?”, try “I see you played with Sarah today — you love playing with Sarah.”
- Instead of “What did you have for lunch today?”, try “I see you made cookies today, can I taste some of yours?”
Statements like these tend to get a much richer response than a straight question — and they usually lead to more conversation, not less.
Ciara & Rian
Here’s one mum’s experience:
“As the mum to a 3 year old boy, a lot of the time I get a reply of ‘good’ when I ask how his day was. Now I can say ‘you were the Weather Reader today’ or ‘were you reading the Gruffalo?’ and suddenly we have a great conversation about it.
I love being able to see what Rian gets up to and what he ate during the day, especially when I’m travelling for work.
As the owner of Nurture, I was slow to move to an app — we didn’t want to lose the personal touch with families — but we haven’t looked back, and we get really positive feedback from parents about it.” — Ciara, creche owner and parent
You May Also Enjoy What Should My Child Know Before Starting School? & 40 Fun Questions To Ask Kids About Their Day At School
Share Stories About Your Own Day
Sometimes sharing a story or two about your own day makes your child more excited to share theirs.
Mum Grace told us: “My eldest has just left creche and the only way we could get her to chat about her day was to start by talking about our own. We gave up asking her in the car on the way home and waited until supper, starting with what I did first, then asking her what she got up to.
My youngest is in creche, and with him the best way to get him talking is to show him the photos from the parent app. Once he sees the pictures, he starts telling us all about what he and his friends did that day.”
You May Also Enjoy How To Develop Better Communication With Your Child
Sit Down Together For Dinner Or Family Time
Coming together as a family, chatting over dinner, offers a relaxed setting for everyone to share what’s going on — from your creche-goer to older siblings and you and your partner.
No TV, no phones, no distractions — just a simple, unhurried check-in is one of the best ways to stay connected with what’s happening in everyone’s lives.
You May Also Enjoy 10 Simple Ways To Have Time Together As A Family
The Bedtime Staller
You may notice your child suddenly can’t wait to tell you all about their day the moment bedtime is mentioned. Build a little extra time into the bedtime routine so they have space to share their stories with you.
You May Also Enjoy The 50 Best Excuses Kids Use At Bedtime
Don’t Forget To Really Listen
It sounds obvious, but it’s easy to cut across our children or only half-listen to what they’re saying. Take the time to properly listen to what your child has to say. When they know you’re really paying attention, they’re far more likely to keep sharing their stories and thoughts with you.
You May Also Enjoy Are You Being Present With Your Child? These 10 Obstacles Could Be Getting in the Way
Frequently Asked Questions
Why won’t my child tell me anything about their day at creche?
Many children need time to decompress before they can talk about their day, and open-ended questions like “how was your day?” can feel too big to answer. Giving them a snack and some quiet time first, then using specific details or statements rather than questions, usually works better.
What’s a better question than “how was your day?”
Try swapping questions for observations — for example, “I see you played with the big yellow truck today” instead of “what did you play with?” Statements like this are easier for a young child to respond to and often open up a fuller conversation.
When is the best time to ask my child about their day?
There’s no single right moment — some children open up straight after collection, others need to unwind first, and some talk most freely at dinner or bedtime. Watch for when your own child seems most relaxed and chatty, and use that window.
Does it help to share my own day with my child?
Yes — many parents find that talking about their own day first, in simple terms, makes their child more willing to share what they got up to as well.
You May Also Enjoy
- Are You Being Present With Your Child? These 10 Obstacles Could Be Getting in the Way
- What Should My Child Know Before Starting School?
- 40 Fun Questions To Ask Kids About Their Day At School
- How To Develop Better Communication With Your Child
- 10 Simple Ways To Have Time Together As A Family
- The 50 Best Excuses Kids Use At Bedtime
Save These Ideas For Later
If these tips helped, why not save this article or browse more of our family life ideas for other simple ways to connect with your child every day.
Want More Ideas Like This?
Sign up for our free newsletter for weekly parenting tips, activity ideas and family offers, straight to your inbox — no spam, just useful stuff for busy parents.
Do you have your own tips for getting your child to open up about their day at creche? We’d love to hear them — share your experience in the comments below.
