From a young age, I’ve taken an open approach to empowering my children about their own bodies. Here’s why I believe it matters to talk to your child about the idea that “my body belongs to me.”
There are rules that children should know
Your body is your own. Your private parts belong to you — not to mummy, daddy, an uncle or grandad, and not to a neighbour, family friend, or teacher. They are yours, and yours alone.
Having this conversation with your young child gives them something powerful: the understanding that they, and only they, are in charge of their own body. Say it often enough and it becomes something they carry with them for life.
You might also find 8 Surprising Facts about Sex Education for Kids useful.
Have an open dialogue
I’ve always tried to keep an open dialogue with my kids about anything they want to know.
I’ve taught them that there are good secrets and bad secrets. If a secret gives them a bad feeling, it’s always okay to tell a trusted adult — nothing is ever so bad that it can’t be shared with someone.
For every child, adolescence is coming. It might be years away, or much closer for some. Either way, laying this groundwork early gives them something solid to stand on.
You may also find 10 Tips to Help Keep Kids Safe useful.
Information is power
Explaining to your children how they came to be is hugely important for their understanding of themselves and the world.
Whether they were naturally conceived or created using IVF, this information empowers your child. When they hear things in the schoolyard or from older kids, they’ll already have a basic, factual understanding from someone they trust — instead of picking up whatever nonsense is going around.
The reality is, sex is everywhere. Our kids can’t escape it — it’s in radio ads, TV ads, shows, films, and jokes. Most children will hear a string of words or phrases they don’t need to before they even know what they mean.
My favourite saying is “knowledge is power.” It applies to so many areas — safety, nutrition, numeracy, literacy — the list goes on. But for my own personal mission, knowledge is power when it comes to talking to young kids about their bodies.
Bel Messer is co-author of the children’s story book, “21st Century Guide to the Birds and the Bees“. Through beautiful illustrations, simple dialogue and fascinating information, young children can build a basic understanding of how babies are created, pregnancy and birth in the 21st century. The book is available at www.iamextraspecial.com, with I Am Extra Special also on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does “my body belongs to me” mean for young children?
It’s a simple, repeatable idea: a child’s body — especially their private parts — belongs to them alone. No one else, not even a close family member, gets automatic access. Teaching this early gives children a foundation for recognising and speaking up about anything that doesn’t feel right.
How do I start this conversation with my child?
Keep it simple, calm and matter-of-fact — the same tone you’d use for any other safety topic. Short, clear phrases repeated often work better than one big serious talk. You can build on it naturally as your child grows and asks more questions.
What’s the difference between a good secret and a bad secret?
A good secret is something fun, like a surprise party, that makes everyone happy once it’s revealed. A bad secret is one that causes a worried or uneasy feeling and is meant to stay hidden. Children should know that bad secrets are always okay to share with a trusted adult, no matter what they’ve been told.
When should I talk to my child about where babies come from?
There’s no single “right” age — it depends on your child’s curiosity and readiness. Many parents start with simple, age-appropriate explanations early on, so children have accurate information before they hear confusing or inaccurate versions from other sources.
Related Articles
- 8 Surprising Facts about Sex Education for Kids
- 10 Tips to Help Keep Kids Safe
- 21st Century Guide to the Birds and the Bees
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