As parents, we want to guide our children and help them grow into happy, confident adults. The teenage years can be a rollercoaster — for them and for us. Here are 20 important things you should tell your teenager to help them navigate the journey into adulthood.
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#1. Stand Up For What You Believe
Be strong — try not to give in to peer pressure. Be true to yourself. Be assertive, not aggressive, and if you need help, ask for it, no matter how big or small the problem feels.
#2. Be Responsible
Think about what you’re doing before you do it. Every decision you make will have an impact on your life. Try to make your own choices rather than letting others make them for you. Not all your decisions will be good ones — but you’ll learn from your mistakes, and that will make you stronger.
#3. Enjoy These Years
You’re only a teenager for a handful of short years — enjoy this time, because you’ll never get it back. Work hard, laugh hard, and have plenty of fun too. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
Recommended Reading: 20 Things to Tell Your Daughter
#4. Look After Yourself, But Don’t Obsess Over How You Look
Eat well and stay active — not to be slim, but to be healthy. You only get one body, so treat it well; it has to last your whole life. Don’t fill it with drugs or cigarette smoke — they don’t make you cool, and you have no idea of the lasting damage they do on the inside. Care about your appearance, but remember that being good on the inside is what really counts.
Recommended Reading: Tips for Talking to Teens About Drugs
#5. Trust Your Instincts
If something feels wrong, there’s probably a good reason. Know when to walk away.
Recommended Reading: Parenting Tips on How to Deal with Teenagers
#6. Be A Good Friend
Listen well and treat your friends the way you want to be treated. It’s okay to fall out and have different opinions — disagreeing with people close to you can actually help you grow. Most of all, be yourself. It’s fine to learn from others, but always hold on to your own opinion. Keep good friends close and be loyal to them. Relationships will come and go, but real friends stick with you through thick and thin.
Recommended Reading: 20 Things a Mother Should Tell Her Son
#7. Have Goals & Dreams — And Work For Them
Set goals and work towards them. Study hard so you have options when it comes to your career, but make sure that career is one that will make you happy too — you’ll be doing it for a long time! And don’t forget your dreams along the way.
#8. Love Your Family
It’s not always easy, I know — but you’re stuck with us, and we’ll always be there to look out for you. We love you more than you could ever imagine, to the moon and back.
#9. It’s Okay To Ask For Help
Everyone feels helpless or vulnerable from time to time. I’m here for you if you ever feel that way, and we can work through it together. I’ll respect your privacy, and you can always trust me. I’ll try not to judge.
Recommended Reading: Important Advice to Give Your Teenage Son, 10 Important Things to Tell Your Teenage Daughter & 15 Positive Parenting Techniques For Parents
#10. Find A Sport Or Form Of Exercise You Love
Being part of a team and working towards a sporting goal gives you one of the best feelings in the world. You’ll learn to lose gracefully, respect authority, and work towards a common goal. It’ll improve your time management and discipline, and you might even have fun along the way. As you get older, you’ll appreciate the effort you put in during your teenage years — and you’ll likely make lasting friendships with like-minded people too.
#11. Respect Yourself & Others
Photo credit: Www.CourtneyCarmody.com/ via photopin, licensed CC BY-SA 2.0
If you don’t respect yourself, other people won’t either. Think about how you dress — you may get attention dressing a certain way, but is it the kind of attention you actually want? Not all attention is good attention. Remember, it’s okay to say no. Sex is something that should only happen with someone you love — it should be fun, enjoyable, and never rushed. Treat every partner with the same respect you’d want shown to you. Respect your own body, and don’t let anyone else disrespect it.
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#12. Read
Read everything you can — not just to learn, but for the pure enjoyment of it.
#13. Love Hurts
It’s a cliché, I know, but it’s very true. It’s a lot of fun too. You’ll move on from crushes and break-ups, even when it feels like all you want to do is stay in your room forever. Most people don’t end up with their first love — hard as that is to believe — and you’ll likely fall in love more than once before you find “the one.” And if you don’t find “the one,” that’s okay too.
Recommended Reading: Talking to Teens About Sex
#14. Never Drink & Drive, Or Use Your Phone When Driving
Realistically, most teens will experiment with alcohol at some stage. Alcohol affects your judgement and lowers your inhibitions, so treat it with respect and only drink in moderation — and never, ever get behind the wheel if you’ve had a drink. The same goes for using your phone while driving. Nothing is so urgent that it can’t wait until you’ve pulled over safely.
Recommended Reading: Advice for Parents on Teen Drinking
#15. Possessions Won’t Make You Happy
I know having the latest phone, tablet, designer outfit or holiday feels like it brings happiness — but that feeling is short-lived. Possessions break, get lost, and go out of fashion quickly, so don’t rely on them for happiness. Appreciate what you already have.
#16. Think Before You Post
Never post a photo or comment you wouldn’t want us to see. Remember, future employers or in-laws may look you up online one day, and anything you say or post can be permanent, even if you delete it. “Anonymous” doesn’t always stay anonymous.
Recommended Reading: 5 Ways to Help You Navigate the Terrible Teens & Tips for Posting Images Online
#17. Don’t Believe Everything You Hear Or See
People tell lies — from little white lies to big ones. Friends will sometimes exaggerate about their experiences or the things they’ve done. Trust your own judgement, and never do something just because “everyone else is doing it” — chances are, they’re not. And as for not believing everything you see — remember, photos can be edited too.
#18. You Are Only Responsible For You
Look out for your friends, but if they want to take risks you’re not comfortable with, it’s okay to walk away. If those risks lead to bad outcomes, remember that you’re only responsible for yourself and your own actions.
#19. Change What You Can & Learn From What You Can’t
You won’t be able to change everything. Focus your energy on the things you can change, and try to learn from — and move on from — the things you can’t.
#20. I Am Always Here For You, And I Will Always Love You
Call me day or night. I’ll try not to judge, and I’ll always be here to answer your questions or just give you a hug. I will always love you, no matter what.
Recommended Reading: You Know You’ve a Teenager When…
Do you have any words of wisdom to add to this list? Share them in the comments below — we’d love to hear from you.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the most important things to tell your teenager?
The essentials come back to a few themes: that they’re loved unconditionally, that they can come to you with any problem without judgement, that their decisions matter and have consequences, and that it’s okay to ask for help. Confidence, respect for themselves and others, and knowing they’re supported at home matter more than any single piece of advice.
How do I talk to my teenager about difficult topics like relationships or peer pressure?
Keep the conversation open and ongoing rather than a single “big talk.” Choose calm moments, listen more than you lecture, and make it clear there’s no judgement attached to honesty. Teenagers are far more likely to open up if they trust the conversation won’t turn into a telling-off.
Why is it important to reassure a teenager that they are loved?
The teenage years bring huge emotional and physical change, along with growing independence and pressure from friends, school and social media. A teenager who feels secure in their family’s love is more resilient when things go wrong, and more likely to come home with problems instead of hiding them.
How can I help my teenager build confidence and self-respect?
Model respectful behaviour yourself, praise effort rather than just results, and give them room to make (and learn from) their own decisions. Encouraging a sport, hobby or interest they genuinely enjoy also builds confidence outside of school and social pressures.
Related Articles
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- 10 Important Things You Should Tell Your Teenage Daughter
- Advice for Parents on Teen Drinking
- You Know You’ve a Teenager When…
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