Are you worried about your teenager and drinking? It’s a tricky subject to broach as you want to give your teen independence but make sure they are safe. Here is some advice for parents on teen drinking.
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As a parent of a teenager and a tween I am aware of the dangers of teenage drinking. As adults we need to set a good example regarding our own alcohol use.
Early onset of drinking linked to heavy drinking in middle age
Headstrong, The National Centre for Youth Mental Health has reported that problems are most pronounced in third and fifth year of high school. Ireland has the worst incidence of underage binge drinking in the EU.
Shockingly, young people who drink before the age of fifteen are four times more likely to develop alcohol dependency while 50% of 15-16 year olds have had a drink in the past month.
Delay & Distract
Fifteen is the most vulnerable year for our teens. Students sit the Junior Cert in Ireland, and it is the stage when most start drinking. The studies show that about half this age group are regular drinkers.
Yet, almost half do not drink therefore what can we do to help our young people resist peer pressure?
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The Strength of Your Relationship
The bottom line is: A strong parent-child relationship where you believe and trust in your child.
Teens are more likely to delay drinking when they have a close, supportive tie with a parent who has had good communication with them around this issue. A good relationship with you is likely to influence your child to try to live up to your expectations.
Warm and positive parenting ensures a child’s self esteem and a feeling of being happy with themselves. All of this makes it easier to withstand peer pressure.
The opposite is also true: when the relationship between parent and teen is full of conflict or distant, the teen is more likely to use alcohol.
Firm but appropriate expectations, backed up with explanations; help them make sensible choices. If there is a history of alcoholism in the family, your child needs to know that for them, drinking carries extra risk.
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Keep the Lines of Communication Open
Establish open communication, therefore do not preach, lecture, advise or moralise.
Instead, encourage conversation by listening without interruption (something I find a challenge) by asking open ended questions. Questions like:
- “What do you think about teen drinking?”
- “Why do you think teenagers drink?”
Listen without interrupting, she will feel heard and respected, and you may learn something. Control your emotions, you may hear something you do not like, take a few deep breaths and acknowledge your feelings in an honest way.
Make every conversation a ‘win-win’ experience; if you show respect for your teen’s viewpoint, she will be more likely to show respect for yours.
Talk to your teen about alcohol facts
Give your child some facts about alcohol and good reasons not to drink. You want your child to avoid alcohol and establish consequences for breaking rules. Your values count with your child, even if they do not show it. They have probably witnessed other young people drunk and making a fool of themselves, say you want them to maintain self respect.
Drinking can be dangerous, a leading cause of teen injuries and death is drink driving. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions – so many drink as it makes them feel more relaxed and confident, but also more vulnerable to sexual assault and unprotected sex.
Underage drinking is illegal; the parents of your child’s friends may no longer permit them to associate with your child. Anyone can develop a serious alcohol problem, including a teenager.
Brainstorm difficult situations, e.g. say “if you find yourself anywhere you are not comfortable; you can call me and I will pick you up immediately – and there will be no punishment”
Practical Tips For Dealing With Alcohol & Your Teen
- A warm and loving relationship with your child
- Good Communication so they feel they have someone to talk to
- Your discipline (or lack of) around alcohol influences them
- Higher self-esteem helps them resist peer pressure
- Talk ‘with’ not ‘at’ them about the danger of underage drinking
- Give them some good reasons not to drink (cost/not healthy etc)
- Set clear, realistic expectations for your teen’s behaviour
- Brainstorm difficult situations with them
- Have consequences and enforce them
- Encourage activity in sports or hobbies
Over to you now. What’s your experience with your teen and do you have any tips for other parents on teen drinking? Share them in the comments below