20 Things You’ll Never Hear a Mum Say!


Parenting and motherhood is a constant merry-go-round of laundry, cooking, cleaning, refereeing arguments, tidying and lots more, with not a whole lot of “you-time”. Here’s 20 Things you’ll never hear a Mum say!

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#1. Of course you can sit on your brother or sister.

#2. Ahh I feel so well rested and relaxed and put together.

#3. No, I don’t mind you spilling your drink for the 5th time today.

#4. Please barge in and tell me what your sister did to you while I am going to the bathroom.

#5. Think I got too much sleep last night.

#6. I really enjoy taking my three kids 4 and under grocery shopping with me.

#7. Oh great! Another load of laundry to do!

#8. I can understand you so much better when you’re whining.

#9. Yes please go ahead and make an even bigger mess. I love picking everybody else’s stuff up.

#10. My floors are so clean!

#11. Please lick the toilet seat!

#12. That temper tantrum you just had totally changed my mind! We’ll do it your way instead.

#13. Isn’t this traffic jam fantastic to drive in with these kids.

#14. My life hasn’t changed at all since I had these children!

#15. Go play in the cat litter!

#16. You can never have enough sugar!

#17. I love reading these Thomas the Tank Engine books over and over and over.

#18. Oh goody! It’s a Dora marathon!

#19. Ahh, I love picking up a thousand lego pieces.

#20. I quit.

Have you any other additions to this list – feel free to add more in the comments section below.

Inspired by an Infographic from Grkids.com

You might also enjoy 33 Lies that Parents tell kids and 25 Things Good Parents would Never Do!

Over to you now! Have you ever said any of these?! Tell us your thoughts in the comments below.


  • Lyn Dromey

    It’s ok leave the hall door wide open
    Come on in with your mucky rugby boots on
    Don’t bother peeing in the loo just go on the floor
    Of course you can jump from the top bunk to the desk
    Of course you can throw your brother if he won’t jump
    Here’s a permanent marker go write on the walls
    Go play with daddy’s power tools
    Of course you can set things on fire here’s the matches
    Yes please put metal in the microwave lets see what happens
    While I’m on the phone do wharever you like ok
    Leave you shoes coat and school bag on the kitchen floor, right in the middle ok
    Yes let your baby brother play up on the top bunk then come downstairs and leave him there
    Ok we’re off everyone take off your searbeat while I reverse
    Here’s the carkeys boys have a go see how it goes have fun
    Yeah boys your 8 and 10 now here’s my lady razor go shave any body hair you can find
    Make sure you wash yourself with my nivea shower cream my one and only luxury use it all ok
    No daddy said its ok use his hairgel and aftershave then hide both
    Don’t put your laundry in the basket stuff it under your beds ok
    Here’s your clean neatly folded ironed clothes go stuff them under your beds
    I could go on but I think that’s enough!!! I have five sons and this is reality not made up!!!!!!!

    • Pamela Carney

      Yes you can swing on the freezer door!
      Please tip every chair in the house over
      Make the entire bathroom a lake
      Stop giving me hugs n kisses!

  • jen grant

    No…. a diaper is NOT a floatation device !

  • sara stone

    The best way to dry a towel,is to roll it up in a ball and drop it on the bathroom floor.
    This happens everyday! I have four kids. Arrh!!

  • kathy powers

    I don’t mind that I have to clean all three bathrooms.
    I love cleaning the garbage you’ve left on the counter when the garbage bag is right in front of you.
    I love cleaning up after you’ve made something to eat.
    Feel free to not wrap up the cheese after using it I don’t mind the cheese getting that hard edge to it.
    I don’t mind closing the cupboard doors in the kitchen.
    I don’t mind putting the toilet seat down when I need to pee.
    I don’t mind cleaning the sink after you’ve left your tooth paste in the sink.
    I don’t mind cleaning the counter after you’ve eaten something.
    I don’t mind while you ask me a question while I’m on the phone.
    I don’t mind you talking while I’m watching the last 10 minutes of a movie.

  • Heidi

    Please yell louder immediately after being told I have a headache.

    Please tell your younger sister the truth about Santa.

    Yes you can bring battery operated toys in the bath.

    Yes put your glasses in your 50 gallon toy box. Along with pencils, sharpeners, anything broken you don’t want me to know about.

    Yes you can go to your friends house without telling me.

    Go ahead and tell some random shopper at Walmart all about my failed marriages. Be sure to hug her when we leave too.

  • kristyn

    Sure.. its fine if you poop and pee outside like the doggy.

    I love when you bark at everyone too…