“Help! I’m a parent but no-one gave me the parenting manual!” Have you ever felt like this? Don’t worry you are not alone. If you’ve been wondering whether parent coaching would help you then here’s how parent coaching helped Mary with her “rude child”:
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Here’s how a Parent Coaching conversation usually begins:
“It’s not that we have a serious problem. They really are good kids. It’s just that we’re concerned about … “
If you are the “regular” parent, doing your best to raise happy, cooperative children, but sometimes feel frustrated or confused about what’s going on for your child, and want to know how to respond to create happier interactions in your family, here’s a taster of how coaching could be the solution you’re looking for.
As a Parent Coach, I’m so aware that it’s the “tuned-in” parents who contact me for support. The parents who know that how we parent matters. They are concerned and informed about how to support their children. But the thing is, parenting isn’t easy.
As one parent said,
“It’s like every time I get a handle on the new challenges we face, someone pulls the rug out from underneath me again!”
Many parents can resonate with that. When that “parenting rug” slips unexpectedly,
Parent Coaching can give you the advantage of figuring out how to regain your balance as quickly as possible.
- Less anxiety and frustration
- Less stress and upsets
- More understanding of what’s going on for you and your child
- Better connection and communication between you and your child
Mary and her Rude Child – a Parent Coaching Scenario
To to give you a taster, here is a situation that could have happened in a Parent Coaching session*:
The “Rude” Child
In her first Parent Coaching session, Mary tells me that her five-year-old daughter, Susan, is going through a “difficult shy stage” and is being “rude” to visitors. She won’t talk to people who come to the house.
And when granny tries to hug or kiss her, Susan backs away and cowers; she refuses to look up. Mary’s mother-in-law has warned her that this behaviour isn’t okay and that Mary needs to teach her child “how to behave properly”.
As Mary has the space in a coaching conversation to reflect on the situation she recognises that she is letting her mother-in-law dictate the interactions, rather than seeing the situation through her child’s eyes.
Mary realises her child isn’t being “silly” or “badly behaved”, but rather is feeling overwhelmed by an adult who is insisting on coming into her space when she isn’t ready for it.
“Oh, I’ve been scolding my daughter for being so unfriendly to granny. But now I get it – she’s doing her very best to control herself when she probably feels like lashing out or running away.”
Mary and I discussed how each child’s temperament is different, and what could ease the situation. But the thing is, once she saw the perspective from her daughter’s point-of-view, it changed everything!
Why Parent Coaching Helps Avoid The Rug Slipping Out
You may be thinking, “Well, I could have figured that out.”
Yes, when we’re in a clear-minded space we can often assess what’s needed. But, when it feels like the rug is slipping from under our feet, we can be so focused on trying not to fall that it’s difficult to think of anything other than our own wobbling.
That’s where Parent Coaching can be exactly what you need to deal effectivély with your child’s challenging behaviour or other parenting concerns.
What is a Parent Coaching Approach?
A Parent Coach is trained to help you figure out what’s really going on in your family dynamics, or to help you pick yourself up if you’ve taken a “parenting tumble”. And when you work with me you also get to “borrow my brain” – as an experienced parent, school principal, and ardent lifelong student of what it takes for children to thrive.
What I love about Parent Coaching is that it’s a collaborative approach. It’s not about the coach telling the parent what to do. Rather, Parent Coaching provides the space for you to “hear yourself think” and to discover what’s working for your family and what needs to change for your family to interact happily and well.
There is never a one-size-fits-all parenting formula. And the magic of coaching is that it creates the opportunity for you, as the parent, to discover your own unique solutions to your parenting questions.
How Parent Coaching Can Help
Parent Coaching supports you to create the transformation from family upset and concern to the quiet confidence of knowing how to respond to the situation, to restore the family equilibrium.
I wish I’d had a Parent Coach when my kids were young. I know it would have saved us a lot of upsets, tears and stress. I know that I could have been far more of the parent my children needed me to be if I’d had the support to help me see what was really going on.
We came out of it okay and I’m proud of my sons, but why have a rumpled rug that skids and veers off into upsets, when you could have a clearer, smoother path through the ups and downs of family life?
With the support of a Parent Coach, over time you are likely to discover that, instead of worrying about the next possible upset, you experience more co-operation, fun and harmony as a family!
What’s the Next Step?
Would you love to know how to:
- deal effectively with children’s challenging behaviour
- support your child through difficult issues
- effectively navigate sibling rivalry
- stay calm in difficult parenting situations
If your answer is ‘Yes’ to any of these, then it’s time to hire your own Parent Coach and discover successful solutions to your parenting challenges. Book your one-to-one session with accredited Parent Coach Val Mullally MA. Want to know more? Click this link.
*Please note: This is a blend of circumstances based upon my coaching work and is not a factual account of any particular family or situation.
Over to you now. Have you used parent coaching before? Did it work for you? Tell us your experience in the comments below.