Making the move from cot to bed can strike fear into the heart of most parents. Will your toddler settle into the new arrangement easily, or will all your good bedtime habits go out the window overnight?
Paediatric sleep consultant Lucy Wolfe of Sleepmatters shares her tips on how to make the transition from cot to bed as smooth as possible.
Anything to do with sleep and little ones can feel like a fraught business. You’ve only just got them settled into one routine, and the last thing you want is to disturb it. But if your child is showing signs that they’re ready for a change, it might be time to consider moving them into a big boy or girl’s bed.
Is it the right age?
Keep your toddler in the cot for as long as possible — Lucy suggests making this transition somewhere between 2.5 and 3 years of age.
By this stage, your child usually has the mental reasoning needed to understand an instruction like “stay in your bed all night.” You want them to have a degree of impulse control, so that when you give an instruction, they not only understand what you’re saying but can also make an effort to comply.
Many parents make the move to a big bed well before this developmental skill set has emerged. Some find the early transition seamless, while others only manage it because they’re lying down with their child at bedtime, or even sleeping with them during the night, whether in their bed or the family bed.
Be sure the timing is right
This transition can sometimes coincide with plans to start toilet training, and it’s worth avoiding piling too many changes on at once. It generally makes more sense to move to the big bed first and tackle toilet training afterwards, but you know your own child best.
It may also coincide with the arrival of a new brother or sister. If so, try not to rush the move from cot to bed by talking about the cot being “needed” for the new baby — your toddler may already feel their nose is out of joint without that added pressure.
Is your toddler showing the right behaviour?
If your toddler is inclined to climb out of the cot, you may need to teach them the necessary cot behaviour — such as “no climbing” — before attempting a move to a big bed.
Supervise and encourage them while they learn.
Involve them in the new sleep plans
- Before making the big move, it’s worth discussing your plans with your toddler and giving them a sense of ownership over their sleeping arrangements.
- It can help to offer small choices around their sleep space, such as where the bed should go, where their books will be kept, or which duvet cover they’d like.
- Making a simple book with your child, showing the new sleeping arrangements in words and pictures, can help them feel prepared.
- Get your child invested in the plan — take them along to pick out the new bed and bed linen, and let them “help” you set up the room.
Introduce a reward chart
A reward chart can help, outlining behaviours you’d like to see, such as “co-operates at bedtime” or “stays in bed until morning.” Positive reinforcement and praise for the behaviour you want can make the new arrangement much easier to settle into.
Change existing bedtime routines
You’ll need to adjust your existing bedtime routine and be firm about the boundaries. Try to avoid the trap of “one more story,” as these stalling tactics can quickly spiral out of control. Avoid agreeing to lie down with your child or hold hands at bedtime, unless you’re planning to co-sleep or room-share long term.
Be structured with bedtime
- Have a structured bedtime routine. Aside from wash-up, bath and teeth, the rest of the routine should happen in the child’s bedroom, so they build positive associations with sleep in that space.
- A lamp on a timer can be a useful way to signal the start and end of the pre-sleep routine.
- Keep a predictable sequence of events for the 20–30 minutes before bedtime. Use this time to enjoy close, one-to-one contact with your child — book reading, storytelling and relaxing, low-key activities work well.
What to do if it’s not working
If your toddler keeps getting out of bed at first, calmly return them and explain that it’s sleep time now.
If your child is really struggling to settle into the new bed, you may simply have made the change a little too soon. Don’t panic — put them back in the cot for now and try again a bit later.
Frequently Asked Questions
What age should I move my child from a cot to a bed?
There’s no single right age, but Lucy Wolfe suggests waiting until somewhere around 2.5 to 3 years old, when most toddlers have the understanding and impulse control needed to follow an instruction like “stay in your bed.”
Should I move my toddler to a bed before or after toilet training?
It’s usually easier to introduce one change at a time. Making the move to a big bed first, then starting toilet training separately, tends to work better than tackling both together — though you know your child best.
What if my toddler keeps climbing out of bed?
Calmly and consistently return them to bed each time, explaining that it’s sleep time. If it keeps happening and things feel like a battle, it may simply mean the transition came a little too early — it’s fine to go back to the cot for a while and try again later.
Does a new baby mean I need to move my toddler out of the cot straight away?
Not necessarily. Try not to rush the transition just because the cot is “needed,” especially if your toddler is already adjusting to a new sibling. Where possible, make the move well before or well after the baby arrives, rather than right around the due date.
Lucy Wolfe CGSC, MAPSC, is a paediatric sleep consultant (birth to 6 years) and mum of four. She helps families establish healthy sleep habits with personalised plans, without leaving children to cry it out.
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If this was useful, take a browse through our other family sleep and bedtime articles for more ideas to try at home.
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