Are mornings in your house a calm, serene event where everything goes to plan and no one raises their voice? Ha, thought not! If they’re anything like mine, there’s an increasingly panicked series of wakeup calls, a rushed breakfast, a missing shoe, and a hunt for that day’s favourite hair clip/pencil/socks (inevitably chewed by the dog) – but these two mums took frantic mornings to a whole new level. Sound familiar?
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I might have frantic mornings, but these two mums left me feeling very thankful that even our worst days (like when the dog ate my daughter’s homework, and then vomited it back up), are tame in comparison to others!
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A Near-Catastrophe, Mayhem and a Dead Squirrel…
Seriously, a dead squirrel! Tara Wood, a hilarious writer and mother of seven, detailed one of her frantic mornings vividly in a recent post.
“I smell something burning” is never a great way to start your day, especially when you can’t find the source…
As if a near catastrophe wasn’t bad enough, Tara’s morning took a turn for the worse with her daughter Norah’s words: “Mommy, Marigold is outside holding a baby squirrel.”
Followed by: “It’s so cute! And it’s not even scared of her. He’s just letting her hold him and kiss him and he’s not even moving – come see him!”
“So I did. And it was all true.”
“Marigold was holding a six inch long baby squirrel.”
“He wasn’t frightened and was allowing her affection because he was dead as heck.”
What a morning! And all this before breakfast..
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One Mother’s Reality Check On ‘Mom Life’
When New York blogger Liz Patrone wrote a recent post about her hectic mornings, she showed the sheer level of crazy a ‘normal’ morning can reach.
Her morning started with the dreaded wake up calls. “Some I gently patted, some I prodded, and one I pulled the covers off and tried to roll onto the floor when the pat and the prod fell short. I’m not proud of that last one.”
Then the bathroom battles started – the teeth brushing reminders which fell on deaf ears, the constant toilet flushing, and the arguments over what to wear: “I dressed one child and myself and told another that her ‘outfit’ would probably get me arrested should I let her leave the house in it.”
The chaos is familiar to many of us as Patrone details cleaning breakfast “out of my car and my kitchen and my hair” and how she “dismantled pillow forts and unhooked Paw Patrol underwear from table lamps and threw in a load of laundry and reapplied the lip gloss I’d left on four cheeks in goodbye kisses”.
There was getting the kids to school, then following them with the things they had forgotten. Fielding text messages, phone calls and all before 9am.
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“By the time I sit in my chair at work and fire up my computer, my Fitbit says I have walked 2.5 miles. All just to get us ready and out of the house. And if walking 2.5 miles and not actually making it anywhere ain’t exactly what this stage of life looks like, I don’t what is.”
Patrone’s post wasn’t one in search of pity or sympathy, but from frustration that others see her 9am start as an ‘easy’ option.
“I tell you this because if one more person says to me ‘wow, it sure must be nice to be able to waltz into work at 9:00am,’ I am going LOSE IT.”
“To the working mamas, I feel you. I feel you so hard right now. But more than that, to ALL the mamas, I’m raising my cup of (now cold) coffee. You keep on doing you, sister, whatever that looks like.
Unless it looks like judgement. Ain’t nobody got time for that ish. Some of us have work to do.”
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Does any of this sound familiar? What was your most memorable morning drama? Leave a comment below and let us know – we would love to hear from you!