Feeling anxious about the first day back to school is completely natural — for children and for parents. Children’s behavioural specialist and author Alicia Eaton shares her top back to school tips to overcome first day nerves, helping make the transition back to school easier for everyone in the family.
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Back to School Tips to Overcome Nerves
1. Avoid Confusing Your Own Feelings with Your Child’s
Many of us are instantly transported back to our own school days the moment we see our children dressed in a smart uniform.
Bad experiences tend to stick in our memory more strongly than good ones, so try to put your own memories into perspective. Chances are your child will have a very different — and much happier — experience than you remember.
Try to manage your own emotions: stay calm, take a few deep breaths, and keep conversations about school light-hearted.
2. Get a Good Bedtime Routine in Place
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Bedtime routines usually relax over the summer holidays, so start moving bedtime earlier, a little at a time, in the week or two before school starts. Once term begins, it’s time to get firm.
Being firm doesn’t mean being harsh — you can still be the warmest, most affectionate parent in the world while holding the line on bedtime. Children are often happier and more settled when they feel someone is in charge, and many will surprise you by cooperating more easily than expected.
3. Ease Gently into New Childcare Arrangements
A new term or new school often means changes to after-school care too. Where possible, try to make sure your child is collected by familiar faces for the first week or so, rather than introducing several changes at once.
Many children feel anxious at school simply because they’re unsure who will be collecting them. A gradual transition to any new pick-up arrangements makes a real difference.
4. Help Your Child to Get Organised
Children come home from school with a lot of new information — timetables, homework, things to remember for the next day. It’s no surprise this can bring on a little anxiety.
A wall chart, whiteboard, or day planner in their bedroom can help. Use different coloured pens for different types of information so it’s easy for them to scan at a glance.
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5. Allocate Space at Home for Storage
Going back to school comes with a lot of stuff — school shoes (perhaps more than one pair), sports kit, PE bags, uniform, lunchbox, books and school bags. Left without a proper home, these items get lost and the house starts to feel cluttered.
Set aside a specific spot for each item and be clear with your child about it: “This is where the sports bags go, and this is where we hang coats and leave shoes.”
6. Reassure Your Child That You’re Thinking About Them
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Children sometimes wonder whether their parents think about them at all once the school day starts.
A little note in the lunchbox — “I know peanut butter sandwiches are your favourite” — or mentioning that you’ll be looking for that missing puzzle piece or picking up ingredients for their favourite dinner, can mean a lot more to them than you’d expect.
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7. Lay Out Clothes or School Uniform the Night Before
This might sound obvious, but children aren’t always used to keeping track of the “right” socks or the “right” shirt.
If there’s also new sports kit, swimming gear, towels or football boots to organise, that’s a lot to manage in a rushed morning. Laying everything out the night before avoids the last-minute scramble that adds stress for everyone.
8. Declutter
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With the kids back at school, it’s a good moment to clear out any holiday clutter that’s built up around the house. A tidier environment can speed up your mornings and help create a sense of calm — which also helps children concentrate and focus.
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9. Keep Home Life Low-Key
This matters especially if there are younger siblings still at home. A child heading back to school won’t feel great about it if they keep hearing about exciting trips or play-dates their younger sibling is having during the day.
10. Take Time Out for Yourself
Finally, make use of any extra time that school hours give you back. Recharge a little and do something for yourself — it might feel indulgent, but it won’t be long before your energy is called on again.
A calm, relaxed parent makes a real difference to a settled child.
Alicia Eaton is an expert in helping people change habits and behaviours. She is the author of “Words that Work – How to Get Kids to Do Almost Anything“, a qualified Clinical Hypnotherapist and NLP Practitioner with a practice in London’s Harley Street. She is also a qualified Montessori teacher and a mother to three grown-up children.
For more information on how Alicia Eaton can help, visit her website.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Why do children get nervous about the first day back at school?
First day nerves are usually a mix of things: new routines, unfamiliar faces or classrooms, and separation anxiety after the freedom of the holidays. It’s a completely normal reaction and tends to settle within the first week or two.
How can parents help calm their own back to school anxiety?
Try to separate your own school memories from your child’s actual experience, and keep your tone calm and light around them. Children pick up on parental stress quickly, so staying composed yourself often helps your child feel more settled too.
When should we start the back to school bedtime routine?
It helps to start shifting bedtime earlier gradually, a week or so before term begins, rather than making a sudden change on the first night back.
Related Articles
- Be Ready for Back to School with this Handy Checklist
- 21 Tips for Making Back to School Night Easier
- Easy Ways You Can Help Your Child Settle at School
- 10 Simple Tips for Making School Mornings Easier
- Tips on Surviving Your Child’s First Day at School
Save These Tips for Later
If this list is useful, save it or share it with another parent who’s facing the same first-day nerves this year — it’s the kind of thing worth revisiting every September.
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