Top Tips for Getting the Most Out of Your Parent Teacher Meeting

parent teacher meeting

Most schools arrange an annual parent-teacher meeting, often called a parent teacher conference. Having gone through many years of these meetings with both of my kids, at both primary and secondary level, here are my Top Tips for Getting the Most Out of Your Parent Teacher Meeting:

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The Basics

Parent-teacher conferences are held usually once or twice a year, they are brief meetings, lasting about 10-30 minutes.

They are an opportunity for parents to

  • learn how your child is progressing academically and personally at school and whether your child is meeting academic expectations
  • if your child is not meeting expectations or is consistently exceeding them then they may need additional testing or extra work
  • find out what your child’s teacher thinks about your child’s strengths, needs, behaviours and learning styles
  • find out how your child gets along with other students in class and during lunch, breaks and other classes
  • discuss how both parents and teacher can support the child’s learning and if there are any services to help your child grow as a learner
  • to understand if there are any issues or challenges that may be interfering with your child’s learning and growth and how these are being addressed
  • make a plan in which the teacher checks in with you regularly if there is a behavior problem.

There’s a big difference between Primary and Secondary Level so I have tips based on my experience of both.

Primary Level

#1. Ask Your Child Before You Go

Ask your child before you go if there’s anything they would like you to bring up at the meeting. Sometimes they will tell you things you weren’t aware of because they know you are going to talk to their teacher. Ask them what subject they like best (and least) and what they don’t like.

#2. Make a list of questions

It’s really easy to forget things when you are at the parent teacher meeting, so if you’ve anything to raise, then just make a little list and bring it along.


#3. Make sure you are on time

At primary school teachers usually arrange specified time slots to see parents, so if you run late then you either won’t have enough time or you will cause everyone else’s appointments to run late. So make sure to be on time.

#4. Relax

It’s not an interview, it’s an opportunity to talk to your child’s teacher and remember your teacher wants to help your child too.

#5. Ask objective questions

If there is an issue and you start the conversation with a complaint that will probably close the doors to helpful communication between you and the teacher. It can be tricky to ask questions without seeming to pick a fight so here are some questions you can ask to get the conversation going:

  • How would you describe my child’s progress?
  • Does my child behave in school?
  • What are my child’s work habits?
  • Does my child get along with the other children?
  • How much homework will my child receive and how often?

#6. Expect to hear about problem areas

No child is perfect and your teacher needs to be able to tell you if there’s a problem or issue. Don’t be defensive just try to determine if or how your child may be different at home.

If the teacher says that your child doesn’t pay attention, you might say, “At home they do pay attention when we ask them something” so you can then explore why they are not paying attention at school; perhaps they are bored or your child needs clearer expectations for his work.

#7. Discuss any next steps

At the end of the meeting, summarise what you have discussed and ask about next steps so you are clear on what you as a parent need to do and what the teacher and/or school will do.

#8. Thank them

It’s nice to say a thank you at the end, because after all they see your child every day and are instrumental in nurturing them academically and personally.

Thank you teacher red flower

Secondary Level

It’s a whole different ball game at high school. Here you are faced with trying to meet as many teachers as you can during the parent teacher time. At our daughter’s secondary school, you just queue up to meet a particular teacher then move onto the next one you want to meet.

The first time I went it was a bit of a shock compared to the primary school, so here are some tips.

#1. Ask your child before you go

Mum and Tween

Ask your child before you go if there’s anything they would like you to bring up at the meeting. Sometimes they will tell you things you weren’t aware of because they know you are going to talk to their teacher.

For each subject ask them if there is anything particuclar that needs to be brought up.

#2. Have a list of all the subject teachers

Even though you will have heard your child mention some of their teachers, you will need a list of their subjects and the teachers’ names. Some schools send this out in advance of the parent teacher evening.

You may not get to see all of the teachers on the evening, so prioritise the ones you absolutely need to see so you can try to see them early on.

#3. Divide and Conquer

If your secondary school has the format that parents go without their child, then if both parents are able to go, it’s a good idea to divide up the list and cover half the teachers each.

#4. Don’t leave problems to that evening

If there are problems or issues with school, then you are better to make an appointment to see their teacher sooner rather than leaving it to the parent teacher evening, as you won’t get long enough to discuss it properly.

discuss parent teacher meeting

#5. Concentrate on your child

If you have issues about school policies then don’t raise these at the evening, take them up with the Principal at another time.

#6. Congratulate your child

Make sure you have at least one positive thing to congratulate your child on after the parents’ evening, to boost their confidence.

Over to you now. Do you have any tips to add for making the most of the parent teacher meeting? Share them with us in the comments below.

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