30 Reasons You Know You’re Mom of a Toddler

From never having an uninterrupted phone conversation again, to crayon-covered walls and furniture. Here’s 30 reasons you know you’re Mom of a Toddler.

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1. Your walls/couch/chairs etc. have been coloured on and you actively detest the cream coloured carpet you bought in your single days.

2. Your make up bag has been raided many times, and numerous lipsticks destroyed.

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3. There is constant chatter: when you are in the shower, on the toilet, on the phone, sleeping, brushing your teeth…

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4. Sticker reward charts are your currency.

5. You rarely get to finish your dinner while it’s still hot.

6. You find 3 day old cups of partly drunk tea scattered about the house.

C-sleeping with a 5yr old7. Waking up at 7am is considered a lie-in

8. You find yourself secretly removing the batteries to all annoying barking/moving/talking/singing toys

9. You can never have an uninterrupted phone conversation, unless they’re asleep.

10. You’ve had to buy a bigger handbag to carry all the emergency items you might need when out and about e.g. wipes, bribes, snacks, nappies, change of clothes, toys etc.

11. You have come to despise Dora (*insert cartoon character that you toddler insists on watching over and over again!).

12. You have no privacy ever – on toilet, in shower, in bath, in bed…ever!

13. You know all the words to “The Wheels on the Bus” and listening to music means playing a CD of Toddler Songs, over and over again.

14. Wipes are now part of your weekly shop, and you have discovered their many benefits beyond wiping bums.

15. You no longer wear anything white because it will be covered in stains within minutes. Same with black, navy, yellow…

messybaby16. You’ve resorted to bribery to get your child to co-operate in the most trivial of tasks.

17. You view left-over fish fingers as a kind of starter to have before your own dinner.

18. You let your child stay asleep wherever they have conked out, for fear of them waking – on the stairs, in the hallway, in their coat, in their birthday suit.

19. You’re secretly delighted when your child poops after your partner has come home as it’s one less nappy for you to change.

20. You let them wear the most clashing/inappropriate/uncomfortable clothing combinations as it’s one less battle to have.

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21. You’ve clapped, cheered or phoned daddy/mummy/granny to tell them, when your child has done a poo in the potty.

22. You look enviously at the parents of newborns when you think about how their child can’t move by themselves yet. And you look enviously at the parents of older children, when you think about how they might have some sense!

child sleeping23. The sight of them sleeping fills you with happiness.

24. You think that whoever from Persil created the phrase ‘Dirt is good’ must have been the parent of a toddler.

25. You find cornflakes/cheerios/rice cakes in drawers, presses, toy boxes, the toilet bowl, your underwear drawer.

26. Going to the supermarket on your own is a treat!

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27. “Don’t Touch” is your daily mantra.

28.  Losing blankie/favourite soft toy is a situation that fills you with horror.

29. Your Christmas tree is only decorated from the middle up.

30. You find yourself taking baths with squirty toys, rubber ducks and foam letters, because you’re just too tired to bother removing them.

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Over to you now! Add your reasons in the comments below.


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Jennifer, our Editor, has 1 son and admits to munching a Cadbury’s Turkish Delight now and again.